Wanderlust

What It's All Been Leading Up To

2010-05-29T13:17:00.000+02:00

284 days. That's how long I've been in the Netherlands as of tomorrow, the day I get on a plane and leave, for god knows how long. In those 284 days I have experienced more ups and downs than I ever have in my life, and it has left me feeling more refreshed and confident in myself than ever before. It's hard to chronicle the last day, the last weeks, because at this point it's all a blur. I woke up this morning, opened my shade and looked around my room - everything is basically packed. I biked to the city with Tine and Jeroen to get bread for tonight, we stopped by the watermolen in Genneper Park (which was actually working) and I chased ducks for a while.

I now see how much all the people around me matter to me, they are my world here, created from nothing, ending as everything. From the host family who has changed my year, given me the caring and loving home an exchange student needs to thrive in the often harsh world of foreign exchnge, to my friends at school, the rocks that are one of the few things that have been steadfast in this year, always there, always good for an ear and some cheering up when things were down and always good for a night out when things were up...or down for that matter. My AFSers, the genuine, caring souls that AFS Intercultural Programs somehow roped into doing something you have to be a little crazy to do - a year in the Netherlands. We griped together, laughed, partied, traveled, ate, drank, biked, bused, and especially trained throughout the whole of this country and sometimes other ones too.

A year abroad is a hard concept to understand until you experience it. We don't think about the end really, or at least it's never actually feasible, until the day comes when you're hugging everyone goodbye and watching the train ride out of the station. AFS is a finite time, an experience in parenthesis, disconnected from what you know and what you will know. The bonds we make during our year stay with us forever, but when the time comes to say goodbye, we have to understand we asked for this and can be nothing but happy to know the people we now know and to have seen and breathed what we did - it's unforgettable, for better or for worse.

Tomorrow I'll get on a plane in Schipol Airport in Amsterdam and leave a country I have grown to love and feel very passionate about. I can't say for certain when I'll be back, but I will come back one day. AFS is not for the faint of heart. An AFSer is a traveler by nature, bound to explore the endlessness of the world and take it in for all it's worth - that's why I'm not worried. Ivy, Crystal, Caitlin, Francesco, Zudik, Tine, Rien, Moniek, Jeroen, Timo, Maya, Joss, Maria, Andria, Agustina, Sinead, Nikki, Hayden, Felipe and especially David, Kelvin, Caspar, Dustin, Koen, and Lisanne - we'll meet again, I know it.

This blog may have become something I never predicted, and at this point I still cannot really look at it with objective eyes and decide what I have made of it. Obviously I will always been somewhat subjective because I have wrote it, I have experienced these words in person. From day 1 to day 284 I have lived what you have read, and I wouldn't trade my life in Nederland for the world.

Letter From Days Past

2010-05-25T18:31:00.000+02:00

13/9/09

Dear Patrick,

What's up? I hope things are going well. I just finished orientation - what about you? I understand this has been a difficult journey but be proud you made it to the point of receiving this letter! Keep it up! I hope by the time this reaches you you have made friends, learned Dutch, and had unforgettable adventures! You know everyone at home is 100% behind you so I hope you haven't let the idea of missing home stop you - go for it. It's difficult to anticipate the state of your life upon getting this but remember, this is what you wanted! Shaker will be there forever and sometimes I understand it's difficult to keep this in mind but it's true. Things will pass and this experience will slip away, please make it everything you wanted. Taste everyday and take Dutch life one hour at a time because before you know it you'll be bound for Tulane (crazy huh!?). Really though - it's hard to know what to say but if things are amazing when you get this think about how far you'll have come (no Dutch, some days just wanting to quit...)! Keep an open mind on the rough days and cherish the good ones.

I Love You!

Patrick

Because I Love Them

2010-05-16T21:51:00.000+02:00

Liz, Me, David, Joss - Afscheid Feest!

Going into Eindhoven

Love Is All You Need

We're cheesy - Francesco, Crystal, Maya, Caitlin, Lauren, Zudik

I LOVE YOU GUYS

2 weeks. 14 days. This is unreal.

Omdat Nu Alles Te Snel Gaat

2010-05-12T15:19:00.000+02:00

I haven't written in a month. Oops. I couldn't have ever predicted that happening at the beginning of this year when every week had tons of new discoveries to share with my commentary to accompany them. But now I stand on the other side of the adventure which was my spring traveling spree. I even had two paragraphs written before I left for Denmark and Sweden but just got distracted and never finished. I've never dreaded writing a blog post like I am this one because I have no clue what to say anymore or maybe I just don't want to say what I need to...either way I'll include what I wrote about 10 days ago.

"27 days. Less than a month. Less than 4 weeks. Then it's done. Recently my emotions ride up and down like a roller coaster. Did I wish this year away? Who knows. But now I see it so differently, maybe only because I now sit on the other side. If you look at it reversely, when I was 27 days in, it was September 17th. On that very day I wrote a blog about how difficult Dutch was and how boring it was having no friends. Dutch is still difficult, but I have a grip on it. And friends? Luckily, they're great. After an amazing week in Rome with school I feel closer than ever with my friends and feel a little tinge inside me everytime I say goodbye to them now, knowing that there won't be many more moments like this - casually taking off by bike to return home as if nothing is ending. But for me it is, it rapidly is. I am beginning to realize the state I will be in when I leave this country - it is colloquially know as the "hot mess." There is something about this incomplete, random life here that has grown on me. I'm more accustomed to life here than I would've been able to predict on September 17th. To the point where I went from 6 entries that month to ONE in April!! Shows how busy I was.

2 weekends after my parents left AFS got most of together once again, this time to visit Antwerpen, a large city in the Flemish part of Belgium fairly close to me here in Eindhoven. The weekend was of course filled with good laughs and a lot of reconnecting, after the long winter and thaw out which followed where we each seemed to proceed with our own adopted lives. For me I am sure there were some people I will not see again during my time in the Netherlands and therefore, possibly never again. This is the constant struggle of AFS. You make the connections of a lifetime, but they are so captured within this measureable amount of time, any further is uncertain. I believe it is therefore the responsibility of every AFSer to continue with their exchange without inhibitions and walk forward into life at peace with the way their year went."

To add to my Antwerp and Rome exhaustion I just got back from Copenhagen and Stockholm with Zudik (Costa Rica) and Rafael (Venz). Unlike the two previous trips I had taken this one came with very few strings attached. We knew where we were sleeping and when we had to catch our trains. That's it. Besides that we winged it, did boat tours in both cities, shopped, and generally explored. I had more typical "eurotrip" moments than I probably have all year - 15 hour train ride in a compartment with a German, Costa Rican, Venezuelan, and Frenchman? Little awkward. Our hostel in Stockholm was amazing and our hosts in Copenhagen were just as accomodating. While this period of travel has been more than exciting for me, I'm happy it's settling down. In 3 days my host parents have kindly allowed me to throw a going away party at my house here in Eindhoven so that I can say goodbye to all the AFSers I have grown to love this year. I will still have two weeks after to spend with my host family and Dutch friends which will, no doubt, fly by.

As I stated earlier in this post, I have no idea what to write. Chances are this is my second to last blog entry while in the Netherlands, and it scares me. In 18 days I will be flying back home to Shaker Heights, Ohio, the city which holds the friends, family, and places I have longed to see for the past 8 1/2 months. Now it's here and I cannot fathom the idea of leaving here even though this time, the end of May, has been the end all along. My life currently holds little semblance to the life I had in September or even January. My relationships have changed - between exchange friends, Dutch friends, and most importantly, the everpresent host family. I have begun to see myself in a very different manner this year; I take myself more seriously and know that I have what it takes to go through some of the more unpleasant moments in life what can appear to be solo.

I'm going to terribly miss a lot more than I had ever expected: first and foremost I don't know what I'm going with a life without clay red bikepaths conviniently placed along every road. Lord knows how I'll manage when my life actually begins to run on a daily schedule. I'll miss speaking Dutch, being foreign, and sometimes being the one who can just pretend to not understand what is happening. But at the same time home is something I've pictures for months now - I'm not sure I could go without it either! I understand this was a lame excuse for an entry but I try at least. I'm going to make the best effort I can to get at least one more in here before I return home (sounds unbelieveably strange writing that sentence out, but alas it's true!).

Because The Countdown Really Truly Begins

2010-04-06T21:39:00.000+02:00

See I told you it would be like forever until I wrote in here again. And didn't I hit the nail on the head, I'm posting right after all the festivities are over. I have plenty to write about so let's see, I'll start where I left off. St. Patrick's Day. Undeniably the best day of the year. I tried my best with Ivy to salvage what I could of the day by going to the Irish pub in Eindhoven a couple times during the day and eating pannenkoeken. The following weekend I chilled with the host fam, went and bought a duffel because of all the traveling I'm going to be doing in the next few (and past) weeks. That's where it began. The week of not being able to sleep. This came as a result of MY FAMILY coming from America! So essentially for one week (another proefwerk week) I did nothing except wait in anticipation for them because once again my school failed to arrange anything for me.

Then they actually came! Ok, I'm not going to lie at first it was weird. Actually being with them after 7 months, it certainly makes me excited to see all my friends, considering it will be another 8 weeks before I see them (8 weeks!? 55 days!? who's counting though). So here's how our week went: They touched down in Schipol Friday morning where I met them and we set off for beautiful (if screwy) Amsterdam. Luckily for us, our apartment was within shouting distance to the Red Light District and plenty of coffeeshops (much to Michaela's pleasure). I can attest to the fact that I showed them a ridiculous amount of the city - we walked our asses off. We did the Van Gogh Museum (but left because they were jetlagged and falling asleep on the benches there), the Anne Frank house, the Heineken Experience (haha), and of course did some shopping.

Monday morning we set off for the second leg of the trip, our apartment in Eindhoven to use as a base to see Belgium/the southern Netherlands. Their presence I guess made me look at things differently again. You get to look at things through the eyes of someone whose never been in the Netherlands before. They loved hagelslag, stroopwafels, and vla. Which essentially just confirms that I have had the right to be a fat person this year (except I'm still losing weight, testament to American lifestyle). Through the week we ventured through Den Bosch, Antwerpen, and Maastricht. Really overall it was just amazing to see my family but really it was a wake up to how far I've come in this experience and a hint of what ít'll be like when I go back to Shaker. I'm ready but I'm scared. I'm attached to this place I am now but I've never felt so detached from my surroundings in my life. In the next few weeks I'll go back to Antwerpen with AFS, go to Rome with school, (hopefully) travel to Copenhagen and Stockholm with Zudik (Costa Rica) and Rafael (Venezuela), have family weekend with the Slokkers in the Ardennes, and maybe by then be slightly prepared for the inevitable.

Shortly after my parents left (actually instantaneously) I went off with the Slokkers for Easter weekend in Friesland. Driving up to the northernmost province of the Netherlands we stopped in Volendam, a typical Dutch fishing town, and the afsluitdijk, which connects North Holland to Friesland and made the IJsselmeer. Once we arrived at our caravan (read: trailer) we then proceeded to spend a large portion of the weekend seeing Friesland (lots of water, not so much to do). It really was a great weekend, one of the first time I've felt immersed in Dutch, seeing as I had no access to the computer and we didn't watch that much TV. It was great. Downer? People at school really think I don't speak Dutch. Little do they know I speak the most English at school because people talk down to me like I can't understand them. This segways to my next thought.

Afsluitdijk

Friesland - we went on a safari

Hinderlopen harbor (if I'm not mistaken)

Sloten (once again I think, we saw a lot (understatement) of Fries villages that day)

Windmill in aforementioned village

I've been developing something I'm simply calling the Dutch inferiority complex. It's a strong and prominent social influence in the Netherlands which tells the Dutch people that no one wants to or does speak their language. In turn it encourages them to be as good as they can be in English so they can communicate in the international business world as well as with pesky tourists looking for the nearest coffeeshop. At the same time if one tries to use Dutch that is anyone less than perfect or fluent sounding, you'll get a response in English. How does this affect/bother me? It makes it really difficult to be an exchange student in said atmosphere. There are sounds in the Dutch language that I'll never be able to make and for that I'm automatically recognized as a foreigner the second I open my mouth. But are we foreigners? I can understand everything you just said, know that if I want a cart from the Albert Heijn I have to put a little token in first, know that there will be a train to Den Haag from Eindhoven station 2 minutes past the top of every hour and the half. If there is one thing that I can see after the silly culture shock I wrote about in the beginning has worn off is that the Dutch people have no pride for their language and themselves as a culture, in my frank opinion. So if any Dutch people are reading this that tend to speak to me in English - drop the act, I'm tired of it (I say that will all politeness possible).

Because As a Matter of Fact...

2010-03-16T14:54:00.001+01:00

Jeez I can't believe it was 2 weeks ago when I last wrote in here. Time seems to be stuck somewhere between flying and crwaling. Weeks go by quickly, but days drag a little. I mean school is still school (which means it sucks) but of course I am still beyond happy with the Slokkers. I go back and forth a lot, will I miss it here? or won't I? I'm sure I will but lately I've just kept thinking "I'm ready." Can't help it! It's been one heck of a long journey and I do feel proud and accomplished to have done this year. In August, the idea of being here in mid-March was shocking, lightyears away. Not that I ever really planned on leaving (ok I mean I entertained the idea...once...or twice) but that you never actually think about much past the year of exchange. It's just a hard concept.

In other news I had a nice (tiring) weekend. Friday I hung out with friends from school, they came here, then we went out for the night. I wouldn't say anything special happened but of course I always enjoy going out with them. The next day my host parents left for a weekend in Brugges and Crystal and Caitlin (USA) came over! It's been a good 2 almost 3 months since I'd seen Crystal and only a few since I'd seen Caitlin but it was really nice seeing them and showing them my new house and family (even though the only person home was Moniek). Moniek's birthday was last Wednesday so she had friends over on Saturday to celebrate. We hung out with them for a little while and then when they went to town we just relaxed and watched TV for a little. Oh except for dinner we had tacos and they were the shit. I cannot wait to eat Chipotle asap after I get back to the US.

I have a cool idea of something to do with this entry. Earlier this year I was keeping a moleskin with random jots of stuff when I was in school and bored. I am almost too bored in school lately to even remember to write in it so I'm give you guys a few things I've written in it through out this year:

"Haven't I been myself? Don't I deserve some legitimate comradery? I say yes. The Dutch, no surprise, remain confused. Sometimes I emerge from the cloud of disillusionment I seem to be shrouded in and realize - who do I have here!? No one." - 9/16/09

"I would reckon things are getting much better. By a lot. Yay." - 9/30/09

"Being here lately had made me realize what everyone says is true! A summer/semester isn't enough. To think I left Panama two weeks prior to this point last summer. It's pouring out - I think I must get used to this." 10/1/09

"...lately things have still continued in a positive direction! At home sometimes it's not amazing...I think my Dutch is making strides. It's fun to practice with people." 10/7/09

"I know there is something that connects me to these people but I just keep going because each day is something good." 10/14/09

"Last week sucked with them and not that it was amazing this week we can coexist. I feel like they know so little about me and my life and only what I tell them- they never ask questions!" 10/16/09

"Although making plans is what gets me through the day I don't want to spend too much time with AFS. Lord knows when I'll learn how to speak this language. It's supposed to be Speak Dutch Wednesday - it's not going so hot." 11/4/09

"A lot of people are starting to ask me if I'm having fun here or if I'm bored yet. Yeah - I don't exactly know what to say. It is boring and not that fun. It's just life." 11/5/09

"I'm having a very difficult time lately- even considering going home. There are strong arguments for me going home, including my health and happiness. Yet I know the arguments are even stronger for me staying." 11/25/09

Ok well those are a couple things I was thinking early on in the year. In a little while I'll post some from December on, I don't want to write them all in here at once - that'd be boring. I wish my school just knew what to do with an exchange student. Blah sorry it's just so easy to lapse into talking about dumb stuff in this blog instead of focusing on other stuff. See, I guess it's at this point in the year where it's rather hard/awkward to always find something to write about in a blog. It's not the beginning, nothing is new anymore. It's not the holidays, we just chillin' really. It's not exactly the end, I still have 2 more months, yet some days when I look at my ridiculously busy weekends it can feel way shorter. But I've got this idea that when this year is over this blog will tell me something. I can look back on it clearly as I have tried to be objective as possible this year. I have been (most days) my harshest critic this year (although on the days I wasn't (ehem hello first 5 months) I'd say I was a close 2nd or 3rd!), but I don't think that's a problem. It's a growing experience, a time to see for yourself what you're made of. Honestly I still don't know the answer. Between boring classes, trying to prove my Dutch, and just in general keeping my brain from melting, I haven't always gotten the time (ha...) to figure it out. Then again people always say it's nothing you can see on exchange.

I hope people don't get disappointed by this blog not being a silly, lovely, flowery account of Tulips & Klompen: The Year in the Netherlands which CHANGED MY LIFE. Because honestly I'd rather gag myself before I write one of those tales. I can't think of new, cute, little things I love about the Netherlands everyday. I've said it before and I'll say it again. It took me a long time to love this country - but I do. I left Panama after 5 weeks, and I took with me a piece of Panama. It was right there in my heart. The culture, the soul. It took me 5 1/2 months to feel the same way about the Netherlands. But that's ok. If I had this easy, I highly doubt this year would be half as fun. If it was easy, I'm almost positive you wouldn't get half as many blog posts out of me and it may look like the blogs of some of the other kids in my group (shoutout).

In less than 2 weeks my family comes. It's time to stick my two worlds in the blender for a week and see what comes out! I know I'll have the time of my life showing off the Netherlands to my parents and siblings, I honestly can't wait. From other people who've seen their families (Crystal, Caitlin) it sounds like a really recharging experience. And while after they leave I only have about 8 weeks left here, I hope it works in a similar fashion. I'm doubting my ability to pull out another entry before they come though so the next time I might get all up in blogger again would be in April (this is insane to me).

Because It's Almost Spring (Which In My Head Means It's Summer)

2010-03-03T16:35:00.000+01:00

I don't have anything particularly exciting to write about I just felt like writing so I'll make up a little something to keep things strung together.

I think I'll begin with a little frustration I've been facing with my school. They seem to have trouble knowing what to do with me and I seem to have trouble being the only one to force myself to do work in Dutch. Result? Not too much. I'm not saying I'd like to be forced to make every test and do every homework assignment, let's face it I'm done with high school and that has mental ramifications no matter how you slice things on this end. I would however like to change the opinions of my teachers and fellow students that think I can't speak a word of Dutch. I get asked multiple times a week if I "already speak a little Dutch" or if I understood, I get stuff translated for me when it's unnecessary but I don't really want to be rude to people that are simply offering a helping hand. I'm going to have to call the Dutch out on something this time (because I wouldn't wanna make a habit of it...ha): I'm sorry that not many people visit this country except for when they want to see tulips or smoke weed. Unfortunate? very. True? more than likely in many cases. The Dutch are used to people coming to their country for a very select number of reasons, learning to speak Dutch and about their way of life is typically not on that list. But jesus I'm here as an exchange student. I think that's really difficult for the Dutch to understand. "Why would anyone want to come to this country?" is the downtrodden question they usually pose when I first meet many people. My point is - I already speak a good amount of Dutch (I'm impressed with myself, ok I think I've written this but don't get the wrong impression, I'm far from cocky) and some of my good friends in school here still seem to not understand that! Translation isn't necessary - appreciated, but not necessary.

This paragraph is going to be a lot of random, disconnected thoughts smushed together - enjoy. It's finally getting sunny here (We've had three straight days of sun with limited rain!), and while it's still cold it's progress. The winter was so dreary and gray here I'm really excited for warm weather to come and be able to sit outside and enjoy. Also my family is coming in a tiny bit over 3 weeks and I honestly can't believe it. When this all started their trip here felt like forever away. Even in January I felt that their coming (and imminent going) would signal the beginning of my final chapters here in this country. I suppose that is still true but I feel terribly unfinished in this country. Do I leave at the end of May? or the middle of June? I'd say at this point anything will be too early, but that's the unfortunate side of time, it only works in drive, not reverse. I think I'm ok with that though, the idea of having a summer with Shaker kids is so amazing yet so foreign at the same time I can barely stand to think about it anymore! That's a lie, I think about it all the time. To my friends from home reading this entry, I want to say one thing. We may not always have had the best contact this year (6 hour time difference can do that to you) but I have thought of you guys so much this year and I hope freshmen year has been superb but get ready because I am down with summer 2010.

Should I tell you plans I have for the next couple weeks/months now? Den Haag Model UN, a gathering (slash shit show) with AFS in mid March, proefwerk week 3 (here we go again! This shouldn't be in my plans but whaterr), my family coming for a week (Amsterdam, Eindhoven, and whatever else we get to!), Antwerp with AFS in April, general spring in the Netherlands, Rome with school, May vacation (partial eurotrip with Gabe or Copenhagen with Moniek? I don't know yet), Brussels with French class, Ardennes for my host family's family reunion/trip of sorts (I hope I'll still be here for that). It's strange that I can see it now - but at the same time I can't...the end. By the end of May beginning of June I'll be peacing out. There's still way more to figure out though. How much will I have spend on train tickets by the end of the year? Will I ever find a wife again with the new SHOPers? Can I get them to believe I can speak their language? All stuff that needs answering, luckily there's still a good chunk of time!

Because Carnaval Is Over & The World Keeps Spinning...Miraculously

2010-02-23T19:41:00.000+01:00

I did not mean to go this long between posts! Almost two weeks - jeez. Sorry. I can't believe I've been with my new family for 3 weeks - it feels like forever (in a good way)! Since I last wrote I experienced something very special to the southern part of the Netherlands, Carnaval. It involved 5 long days of dressing up and drinking. Most of the stories, however, are not the most appropriate for this particular outlet. I'll post some pictures because they're too good not to, but I dressed up two nights in a random mash up of stuff that didn't match, one night as a tiger/Fred Flinstone (whichever you prefer) and on the last night, as my personal homage to the Vancouver Olympics and the Netherlands success in this particular area, I was an ice skater (which involved a onesie you'd have to be insane to wear...yours truly).

After carnaval I relaxed and recovered. Some people get really sick after Carnaval (i.e. Ivy or my host sister Moniek), but I mean, if you're going to go out 4, sometimes 5 days in a row, it's bound to take some kind of toll. After like, 72 hours of doing nothing, I got off my butt and went to Arnhem to stay with Joss (Australia) for a night! We ended up inviting a new SHOPer, Beatrice (NZL), who really just gave me a blast from the past (exchange past, that is). It was weird to see someone here that didn't speak any dutch still, wasn't used to the bikes, trains, breakfast, everything. I'll tell you one thing, it did not make me miss the beginning of exchange, that's for sure. Especially with the feeling that has come over me lately. I probably wrote about this in my last entry but everything is just going splendidly. I don't think I need to dwell anymore on that fact. With Joss and Beatrice we attempted to go to Albert Heijn so I could be the first to lead Beatrice down the dark path which is Dutch snack food. Unfortunately, AH was closed, and so was C1000 - so we settled on the gas station. After almost throwing a fit right then and there when I saw the limited and overpriced selection they had to get my sugar fix in, I moved some stands and found a hidden shelf with stroopwafels (I know, there are some talents you just can't even deny)! They were nasty and stale but I was satisfied with being the first the expose someone to those devil snacks. The morning after we walked around Arnhem and shopped a little bit, I didn't buy anything but it was such a nice day out I was just in a good mood. It felt so much like the Europe I had seen before this year - at the same time that could be because we're entering spring which is the only season I've been in Europe previously in my life.

The last day of break, Sunday, we ended up taking a road trip to Antwerpen in Belgium! My host family just asked on Saturday and I was so down. By the way when I say road trip, I mean like, 45 minutes or so in the car, so I guess it doesn't really count. Cool how close it is though. But let me say, I loved Antwerp. It was old and messy and smelly and beautiful and just great. I guess for me when I think of Europe and the parts I've seen previously in my life it wasn't this sterile place, it had a little edge, and I felt that in Antwerp, I liked it. We really just walked around and saw some parts of the city. It was Sunday so we couldn't really shop because everything was closed. Ok here's the food installment of this blog entry (because I have come to the sad realisation that this comes off more off a dietary journal more than anything, to those of you that don't know me, I'm not a fatass (I'm actually still losing weight, kinda), to those of you that do...could you honestly expect anything else?): We ate Belgian waffles and Belgian fries. I just want to insert at this point that while writing this I just sat for a couple minutes trying to think of the best word to describe this gastronomical experience, I came up with nothing - that good. Moving on...

I wouldn't say anything exciting has happened this week. But then again it's only Tuesday. Actually I got told today that the Hague Model UN was back on! I feel that this is so typical of my Dutch school to alert me of something like this two weeks before it actually takes place, and lucky for the other 8 people, I have experience doing this, while they have none. Patrick the teacher! Jesus I can't see that going well. Either way I can't see transportation, lodging, food, competition fees, something to do for the weekend, and something to occupy my time for 2 weeks as a bad thing - so I'll do it (as if I'd say no...)(despite how lame I think my friends here think I am for doing it, oh well). We're Somalia and Madagascar. I'm not sure which I'll be yet but I'm positive it'll be cake making friends as Somalia, what with their friendly national mascot being the looting modern pirate (allegedly). Another event in the near future is the SHOPer orientation camp this weekend (have I written about this? I'll continue anyway, if you know about this, ignore it I guess, but you should know I doesn't make me feel good to think people are just skimming my writing) that I've been invited to! Along with Caitlin and Lauren (USA) and Walker (Canada) we get to speak to 12-ish new AFSers in Nederland about the hell (positive or negative, take that as you may) of a year their about to have. I wasn't sure I would be able to stand in front of the new students and confidently tell them this year would be worth it - that changed for me so quickly, it is worth it. I know I keep writing a lot in retrospect but I really didn't believe people when they told me this year would go so fast (and when I tell future kids who are going to do this the same thing, I suppose in turn they won't believe me, either). It's scary and thrilling and sad all at once. I love my friends here, both my Dutch ones and some of the AFS kids, I am so happy to be in the family situation I am now, and I have really grown to hold a part of the Netherlands with me. I'll be the first to admit it didn't come easily or smoothly, but it's here, and it's time to enjoy. My Dutch is something I'm really proud of. Although my friends don't know sometimes my language level (we speak mostly English, I know I know keep the scolding to yourself), I have really tried to prove in the last month, month and a half that I really have competence in Dutch.

I'm not so sure I have much more to write about today - so I'm just going to show you a few pictures from Carnaval then be through with it for today!

Liz, David, Kelvin and I at the school party

Merel, Kelvin and I at the school party

Pim, Boy, and I on the 3rd night of Carnaval

Koen - the New Age Nerd

Koen, Liz, David, and I on the last night of Carnaval (covering up my ice skater costume)

Because I Feel Like This Is How It Was Supposed To Be All Along

2010-02-10T16:08:00.000+01:00

It's snowing here - again. But I guess that's ok because I'm perfectly happy. Like the title reads, I finally feel like this is how exchange is supposed to go. It's supposed to be hard, not painful. It's not supposed to beat you down to the ground and snatch away your morale, but that's what it (they, yeah I'm not afraid to admit it) was doing to me. So now that suddenly my experience seems to be doing a 180 I can take times to examine other parts of life. Say, carnival. It hasn't started yet (Friday) but let me just say I am really excited. In the past week I've been getting accustomed to my new surroundings here with the Slokkers (who are awesome), going through the normal routine, and then getting sick. Yeah I'm home today from school because I want to be in top form and I was feeling rather crappy yesterday. Could be a lot of things, built up stress from right before the move, or it could just be my host sister Moniek who was also rather sick last week. Wanna talk about what has changed by my switching families? Let's see..

I know live with a totally Dutch family, other exchange students, you know what I mean. There is a quaint little coffee maker on the kitchen counter, which easily whips up a nice cup of coffee whenever you want it (that's fairly often with the Dutch). We go through loaves of Albert Heijn bread like tissues. Vlokken, hagelslag, mix hagelslag, and vruchtenslag (or something) are all availible every morning for breakfast (I'm really sorry I know my last entry or whatever was about food, it's just so natural for me to write about...). I can watch television. Bikes are friends, not tools used to torture humans when the weather just isn't going your way. My wash smells freaking amazing. I am getting a chance to live a Dutch life in a connected house (ok I mean it's not that big of a deal but just saying..). Family breakfasts do not exist as everyone runs on different schedules (this isn't particularly Dutch or anything, I am just stating that I am relieved to not have to pretend to be a ray of sunshine when I wake up). All in all I haven't found anything to complain about yet (that's always a good thing!).

Last weekend I went with my host family to Rotterdam for my host mother's birthday. We were going to do a boat tour of the harbor but the Netherlands, unable to be anybody else but itself, cloaked itself in a thick, soupy fog all Saturday. By the time we left sunny Eindhoven and got to Rotterdam it was hard (impossible) to even see the top of the Erasmus bridge. We walked along the pier for a bit and then found the hotel/restaurant my host family was looking for. Hotel New York was (is?) a hotel (I think?) and a waiting area for those who took the ship (ancient things that float on water) from Rotterdam to New York City. The restaurant was really cool and we just had something drinks and cakes there (I made the fateful mistake of ordering lemon tart which was the stupidest idea ever because I was already on a fructose overdose from switching families and overloading on the newly availible sweets) then we were on our way. We hopped into the car again seeing that the boat thing wouldn't be very fun or photographically fruitful seeing as well, we couldn't even see across the harbor. Instead we went, well, at that point I didn't know where (lemon tart was working it's way through my system and it was angry). When we arrived, turns out we were in Hoek van Holland to see the dikes (like the things that keep this country from flooding). I semi worked out my bodily issues (ok, sorry) and got to see some of the cool exhibits they had of one of the things the Netherlands is best known for, water engineering (I don't know if that's like, the official term, to me it means making water do stuff that ain't natural). We returned to Eindhoven for pizza and birthday cake and I took off for the evening to Helmond to watch movie(s, we fell asleep after one) with Ivy, Maya (USA), and Walker (Canada). Eventful weekend, huh?

My week so far has been duly unexciting, although I did forget (ahem) my clothes for gym class and was still forced to participate in the activities. I think it's somewhere in my DNA to just try my best to get out of gym because whenever I actually get there I don't find it so painful, but the thought hurts my head. And by not so painful I mean when we do anything except soccer, then I'm out (and I wasn't trying to do a shuttle run in jeans...sorry). I kind of had a moment yesterday after French where my French teacher was trying to speak to me in French and I was very ardently trying to speak back but instead of French coming out, Dutch did instead. We switched eventually and that made stuff easier but it freaks me out too. I speak almost all Dutch at home, finally can watch Dutch television, and I can really feel myself getting more confident and comfortable (I can't tell how late I am with this revelation but I did get a 66/83 on my AFS exam which is categorized in the second highest group of very good, so bam).And I'll admit it - I'm by no means great at Dutch - I can definitely communicate mostly anything I want and need and sometimes I still struggle for phrases or the right sentence but the point is - nu kept coming out instead of maintenent. I suppose I should be happy though, right? I guess I am, really am. Dutch is just such a sticky situation. Even if I get as good as I can in this remaining time I have here, how much will I get to use Dutch after this? I think that's the part that sorta makes me a little sad. I've really come to terms with this language as a challenge that is fun and new, not insurmountable and dull as I viewed it in the beginning of this all.

I think time is certainly starting to scare people. We all feel pressured to make plans and see eachother, even though for most of the AFSers here they've just only stepped over their halfway mark. I, on the other hand, have a measly 3 months give or take. I know that going home in the middle/end of May is the correct choice for me, it'll just be a lot harder than I planned now because my attitude has changed so much. Through my family change I have discovered a lot of things: a lot of what my old host family used to tell me about myself isn't true (it's just what they for some reason saw), I haven't acted or felt in the past week (I know it's a short amount of time but I've got my fingers crossed it can stay this good) the way I was for the 5 months which seemed to stretch on for infinity from August until eary Febuary. I don't shy away from the truth, especially in this blog when it comes to the truths of foreign exchange. I was told throughout the year by my prior family my issues would follow me wherever I went and that I needed to do some deep soul searching and figure out how to connect properly with people. I was told I was painfully unconversational and never relaxed as a person. I find none of these to be true, both before my time with them, and now - after. It sounds corny but I smile now on a daily basis, even if it's only for a second over little things. I don't think about every last movement I make because one time or another it was under intense scrutiny and was later brought up to me in what felt like a war tribunal. I learned a lot about myself and the people that live in this world (I know, it sounds large scale, but I feel like they did teach me a lot, even if in the end it drove us away from one another) and in the end it's hard to imagine my exchange at this point without all that nonsense.

This is definitely an entry in my blog where I can look around and say "I'm right in the thick of things here." I'm happy in the Netherlands, happy speaking Dutch, happy with my friends and my host family, excited for what's to come, and not so prepared to think about May as the end. I can't go back to the way things used to be, I learned that when I had no choice but to leave families and start fresh. It's scary, but boy is it worth it. I have created a world in Europe that I have grown to love and consider normal, even if some days I look at it and go "how did this even happen?"

Because I'm Finally in a New House!

2010-02-04T11:19:00.000+01:00

That's right - I have finally switched families (and it feels so good!). I now live in Aalst, a neighboring village of Waalre, which in my case takes my approximately 10 minutes closer to school (sweettt). Also I now have a host brother who is 11 years old, and a host sister who is 18 (both redheads!). Their sister is in America right now with AFS and when she had some medical issues and was in contact with AFS Nederland they put the pieces together and asked if they were interesting in hosting, turns out they were cool with it! They seem like super cool and relaxed people, although I'll admit it's hard getting used to living with people whose Dutch is a little different. I think it'll really improve my Dutch though because I will have never had a background of speaking English with them so the vast majority of our relationships will be formed in Dutch, which I suppose is cool. I am really proud of myself when it comes to Dutch nowadays. I was so resistant in the beginning to speaking Dutch at all and really absorbing it but now I'm trying my best and I'm happy I can really operate in it. It was painful unpacking all my stuff into my new room and it just scares me to think I have to try and get this all back to America somehow.

In other news I have been nominated for a blog contest, so it would be highly appreciated if you could vote for "Wanderlust" on this site HERE. I've poured so much of myself into this blog this year and although it sounds a little lame I'm really excited to see it in a couple months as a "finished product." I have found a website where they turn blogs into books for a good price and I can't wait to do that with mine, just because I don't think I've ever really had anything like this in my life. I don't really journal, I try a little bit here but it doesn't work so well. Maybe I'm just lazy and the only thing I like about blogging is that I can type it, or it's that everyone can see it. Either way this has been a nice way for me to ramble on without having to think about how the person listening feels (because you're choosing to read this blog!).

Last weekend I went to Amsterdam with Ivy on Friday and we had a swell time. We walked around for 5-ish hours further acquainting ourselves with the capital city (which everytime somehow does get better). We magically found online the night before an actual hotel that was basically the same price as a hostel so we got a private room with a bathroom and everything that night (ok, I know that's not that exciting but for a pair of 18 year olds it is)! When it came to thinking about going out that night we knew that to go out in Amsterdam it'd probably just start pretty late and after all that walking we just didn't have it in us, especially since the next day we had to go to Utrecht to take our AFS-administered language test. We got a bunch of junk food at Albert Heijn then went back to the hotel, pigged out for an hour, then slept (for like 11 hours! ha). The next morning we were up early to get ready and hop on a tram to Centraal Station and catch a train to Utrecht. Upon arrival we met up with a bunch of AFSers and after a little bit of a struggle we finally got to the testing location. The test itself wasn't all that bad, I wouldn't say I placed in the top 3 (they get an official language certification test paid for by AFS) but I don't think I did shabby by any means. When that was over we did what AFSers do best: made lemonade of lemons and sat on a canal, drank, and played cards. After that I went back to Eindhoven and went out with friends for the night.

Who knows now what is to come in the next few months with a new family, but I hope it's as good as it can be. I think we are going to Rotterdam Saturday and Breda Sunday (hah I know, already) for various reasons which include my host mother's birthday and a reunion of vacation friends (respectively).

Because Sometimes a Potato for Dinner Inspires Things Like This

2010-01-28T18:57:00.001+01:00

From my understanding in terms of reading this blog I have given much attention to food - rightly so in some respects. I have had an uphill battle with my stomach this entire experience, even bringing about the rare paradoxical exchange student weight loss (says a thing or two about my American diet, huh?). Anyways I thought I'd make an entry all about Dutch food - the good, the bad, and the downright unappetizing! Then maybe I'll summarize a bit of what I've done the past week (oh nevermind I can do that quickly - nothing).

The yums. What makes me stomach smile with joy. Dutch desserts and pastries. Well first off there are pannenkoeken, extra thin pancakes with thick, rich, dark Dutch syrup. I love eating it mixed with that and the maple syrup I brought from home with some powder sugar. Did you say Appelflappen? Oh it's just the Dutch answer to apple pie. A personal sized deliciousness made with puff pastry, stuffed with apples, and sprinkled with sugar on top. Best when bought from Albert Heijn with the steam covering the box because they're so fresh and hot. I've already discussed Ollibollen and how they practically led to me going into cardiac arrest this winter. Sadly they're only around untill New Years then someone dumb Dutch person went "let's stop making these until next November." Stroopwafels. This, again, has been previously discussed as somewhat of a heroine like substance for me. There has been a recent development though - Saturday I went to Tilburg with Maria (Brasil) and Christina (Bolivia) and I bought a fresh, warm, syrup dripping stroopwafel. I felt semi-debilitated afterwards but Lord knows it was worth it. Albert Heijn donuts - they's just donuts, but they's some good donuts. I can't have anything but love for a country that shares my sentiments about warm ham and cheese on some type of bread - lucky for me there is an abundance of this very combination here. Oh and Vla! Vla is a thick pudding-like kind of a dessert that people eat with hagelslag (y'all already know I got love for that stuff too) and it's just wonderful. Buy it in chcocolate, vanilla, or a mix of both from your local grocer. Upon finishing the good food section I realize I have not included any Dutch umm...real food I guess you'd say. That's because, while some of it is acceptably average, I'll outline the (for lack of a better word) gross ones next!

Blegh. Here I will discuss Dutch main course-ish type food. I am unimpressed with this. There are a few I can eat and enjoy though. Pea soup and Pumpkin soup - I have had delicious versions of each, the best made by my liason's husband. I never thought I'd enjoy pea soup - but it's quite nice. Kipcorn. I am up in the air whether to be grossed out or not by this, but I've eaten at McDonald's before so I guess it shouldn't really be anything new. Kipcorn is uh...a stick of chicken, breaded. You can purchase this innovative and handy snack wherever you see the uh, semi-outdoor like snack bars with little windows where you put money in and can then open a window of your choice and grab out your delicious, home cooked (a-hem) treat. Kroket and Frikandel. You can also buy these at the snack bar. While my love for ground and reshaped chicken is unwaivering, I cannot however say the same for ground, soupy, red meat mush when it is deep fried. That is why I don't eat Kroket and Frikandel. The end. What elseee. Potatos is like a staple and I guess I can deal with that because well, we happen to eat them in America as well. What I do miss is baked potatos with butter and ughhh yum. Or Potato skins with bacon and melted cheese. Jesus. Also there is this like thing (sorry I have no better word for it) of mushed up potatos and some kind of leafy vegetable (you see already why I don't like it) and it just looks and smells bleh.

So there is Dutch food for you in a nutshell. Wanna know what I ate for dinner just now? Tacos (funny - no?).

This week has been more strange limbo zone between host family and temporary family (because the spectacular AFS Nederland has taken 4 weeks to find me a new one and is not a bit closer than they were at the beginning) as I'm planning on moving in in a couple weeks with my friend from school Dustin. His parents were super cool about letting me stay with them for a little and I hope Dustin and I can make it work and not mess up a good friendship you know? I'm now taking math at school and I guess it'll be a nice review of like, Algebra II for uh...college calculus next year? shake it off. Besides that nothing doing. Language test on Saturday in Utrecht, Amsterdam tomorrow with Ivy. Carnival soon!!!

I'm Going to Try This Again

2010-01-19T18:55:00.001+01:00

Sorry about that last entry - I just wasn't feeling it to be honest. Anyways quite a bit has happened in the past three weeks since I wrote in here (by that I mean a serious entry). I'm going to try to tackle this chronologically so I can hopefully remember the most. By the way after my computer was all screwy without Windows for a month it's finally back but for some reason I downloaded Dutch Mozilla and now all these words and currently underlined in red so if there are typos I apoligize. The day after I wrote my last full entry I had a really exciting day with Ivy - we decided to use our expiring day cards for the train and just do what we felt like. We started the morning in Delft, a beautiful, old city that I had heard so much about and a place I want to visit again because it'll will be a good place to pick up some Dutch-y souvenirs at the end of all this. It was still pretty early when we got there so we got breakfast-y like food and just wandered a little. When we lost interest we went over to Rotterdam for the first time, but since we kinda had a fleeting attitude that day we couldn't focus ourselves on Rotterdam since it was so gigantic and we just had no clue what to do. So we left. Ivy had this undying urge to see the ocean so we went to Vlissingen, a 90 minute train ride from Rotterdam, where we literally crossed over a lock for the ships and looked at the ocean. Too bad moments later it began hailing, making us slightly bitter we came all the way for this. We took the same train to Roosendaal when we left so we could meet everyone for Agustina's going away party! It was a great party and it was nice to say bye to all the Shopers who always assured us this place wasn't as bad as it seems during our first months here.

The Southern Hemisphere students leaving signals a very definite moment in the year for me and hopefully some of the other people in my group. In 3 weeks the new students will come, homesick, shocked, and bewildered. Many of us are uncertain we can calm their worries the same way the SHOPers did for us back in September. Do I feel I could confidently tell someone that in a couple months you'll understand all the Dutch and language will stop being a daily battle? No. I am just reaching a point where I understand a vast majority and can use it when I choose (although I can admit I am a bad exchange student and use it infrequently outside the walls of my host family's home). It also means that I now have 5 months of exchange to look back on. What do I see? To be frank, I don't see anything, because I don't look back anymore. The only thing I look to is the future, these last few months in the Netherlands (I plan on terminating early for various reasons including a summer job and orientation at Tulane, staying until July is just not viable for me), a fresh start with a new family, and all I have yet to do here. I keep my chin up everyday and am beginning to see things I didn't see before. I already see some of the things I am learning; when my parents used to tell me just to take it one day at a time, I had no clue how, now that's all I survive on! I think about today and only today (ok maybe tomorrow or next week, if I'm like, making plans, but you get my drift).

It's difficult for me to write the way I used to in the beginning of this blog, where I found humor in all corners of this country and the differences I could see in everything. Things become mediocre then worse and the stress I feel everyday from my current living situation has taken a lot of fun out of exchange life for me. My advice, to anyone on exchange this year or anyone bound for AFS in the future, as it was told to me by a spirited, helpful Argentinian: "Don't forget, this is your year. You can't always live for others and their pleasures and worries. Do this for yourself." I am trying to combine this entry with sentimentals as well as the general update of life on exchange because like I have always said, this is a documentation of my journey, which given my current situation, has had little humor in it recently. I need this back. It's come to this point where I over analyze most actions I take in this country because I feel like my whole being in general has come under seige in the past few months. I'm going to end this paragraph because it's not a nice thing to talk about - I understand this. But I won't apoligize for discussing the rougher parts of exchange, something I know a lot about.

Either way - I have managed to squeeze in fun weekends and schooldays with AFSers and friends. I'll continue with that and the lighter parts of my life now. Last weekend I spent another day in Rotterdam with Francesco, Timoteo, and Ivy. We shopped a little (I'm lying, a lot) and then explored some more, got to see the Euro mast (I know nothing more about it except that it's some big tower in Rotterdam, we struggled there in the snow). Ivy and I came back home and I met up with Caspar and David to go out - I'd say it was a successful night. This past weekend I spent at Ivy's getting to know her town of Helmond seeing as she's stayed at my house a bunch and I've never once slept at her house. It was superb. We went out Saturday night then Sunday just pigged out and watched movies and stuff and blahblahblah it was cool.

Stuff with my Dutch friends is going well. I still hold true that I feel lucky to have found my friends. I think they're awesome people and Dustin (or his mother...whichever way you look at it) even offered to let me move in with his family. I am thinking I won't take this option though because I hear living with friends can be really hard and I don't want to spoil a good friendship...especially with someone I have every class with. The hardest part though is definitely the whole Dutch thing with friends. I've been trying to prove to them recently I can actually speak pretty good Dutch and I guess they get the picture but who knows if there'll ever be a day we just look at each other in the morning and begin speaking Dutch - could happen, no? Either way I'm currently in the middle of another proefwerk week for my school (exam week) which means for me...I do nothing. Hopefully I can take a couple day trips to relax and stuff, then I have two weeks of school and then another week off - this time for CARNIVAL. I'm really excited about this and I hear it's just a splendid time. For the second half of this vacation hopefully I can go somewhere - I'm a little surprised with myself how little I have traveled during this year but I guess what they say is true - AFS is not a travel agency, and they have enough bureacracy and red tape to stop you if you try and prove otherwise.

I think I want to write a couple quirky things about the Netherlands that I appreciate just to pump up my spirit:

- I have an everlasting hate for gym class and it takes more than an appropriate amount of effort to get myself there for two hours on Monday mornings. But I have to admit, trampoline? ice skating? This is not freshmen gym everyone. It's pretty different for me. I guess in America they just take the approach that a lot of people hate gym so why should they try? I get it but in my opinion it just made it worse. Either way, it makes me feel better about my lack of sports aptitude when barely anyone in my gym class is good at ice skating!

- Have I written in here that I have discovered I'm intolerant to fructose? Maybe I have, I don't know, but I'm around 90% sure it's true. I took fructose out of my diet about a month ago and things with my stomach have gotten so much better here. How does this exemplify my appreciation to this low-lying country of crazy people? I can easily go through a normal day without encountering fructose. Besides turning down fruit after dinner, it's really a lot easier than one would think. I know if I found this out in America I'd have to battle the inner fat person not to eat my normal foods. I'll tackle this topic again maybe when I get home - I know you're dying to find out how my gastrointestinal story ends.

- I have a second home on the Dutch rails. Every time I get to Eindhoven station I know that there is something interesting just going to happen. Someone is coming in or I am leaving. And when it's me that's leaving, when that train pulls out of the station and rushes towards wherever I'm going, my worries are left behind on the platform. I forget about the stress of exchange and know that this is what I came here for, adventure. When I step off this train I will be somewhere I may never before have seen, and if I have, I'm sure something will happen that will make the trip worthwhile. I love the ugly, green seated double decker stoptreins near Rotterdam and Amsterdam, the large, blue seated, newer double decker intercitys that make me feel at peace, or even the old, orange seated, single level intercitys that replicate the first time I ever boarded a Dutch train.

- This experience has made me certain of one thing for sure though - I love the United States of America, and I am an American. No I don't want to wave the stars and stripes wherever I deem fit, nor do I like to associate my patriotism with some bad decisions my government has made in the past few years. What do I want? I want the 4th of July, unreliable public transportation, abrasive friends, boring nights we make our own, macaroni & cheese, and being at home knowing, for certain, I am proud to come from where I do. You can tell me we're obnoxious, our accents are intolerable, we get treated differently for only saying where we come from, we dominate the media and popular culture of our modern world, but I really don't care. After all, it could be worse - I could come from Tasmania.

If I Had the Energy to Make a Nice Title...

2010-01-11T21:21:00.000+01:00

Ok hey, hello. Sorry this has been such a long break here again (or so it feels). A lot has been going on here and it's not always the most positive stuff to write about. I guess I'll start with the not so nice stuff? That way I can end this entry positively and we can all leave feeling good! I'm switching families. I'd like to say it was an easy decision or something that tones down the situation but I got nothing! I'm surprisingly pulled together and hope I can keep stuff positive in the next couple weeks through all this. In my opinion I feel my Dutch is going well but I know I still have strides I gotta make. I actually don't have the focus right now to finish this post so I'll update full and well soon!

A New Year That Sure Feels Like the Old One

2010-01-01T17:15:00.002+01:00

Since I last updated I haven't really found anything too inspiring or mind-boggling to write about, I just figured I'd talk about what's been happening this last week of break (seeing that it has been much better than the first). Maybe I'll work backwards because I have the least to say about the most recent developments in life. I rang in 2010 with my host family. I suppose it was nice and we ate these things called ollibollen and appleflops or something the other and you know, since we don't have TV, we uhh...watched the clock. fiesta. (The following excerpt it going to make me sound like more of a loser than I am) I was expecting to be contacted by friends who told me they could only go out after the ball dropped and after only speaking to them prior that day I thought that someone could contact me. Boy was I wrong. We outside with the family in the freezing cold and watched as the Dutch sky was lit up with nice, minor and large, illicit fireworks of all shapes and sounds. This proceeded like mad for maybe 35 minutes after which we returned inside to munch a little bit more. Realizing that I was tired and wasn't getting a phone call to come out, I called it a night. I prefer watching fireworks in the summer - when it's actually pleasant to be outside, but to each his own.

Earlier than day I had returned from Zoetermeer where I spent the night at Crystal's. Wednesday I decided I needed something to do so I trained to Den Haag (seat of the Dutch government) and we walked around there for a while. We actually went and sat at this cafe and got cookies and hot chocolate (ok Crystal had wine and a brownie but...gross) and we conviniently sat ourselves next to what turned out to be three fascinatingly American girls. Don't jump to conclusions - we didn't introduce ourselves as fellow exchange students or anything, it was way too much fun listening to their unbarely dumb banter about living here. I guess they were with a college organization but they broached really interesting topics like "Oh my god we had to take a inventory for a class to see if you're like, you know, more European or American stereotype, and I was like, totally more European, because you see, I like believe that we should share everything and then it's like, more even." or about how she (one was quite domineering and controlled the conversation, loudly) has to attend a mandatory class for foreign students and "It's like me, three British guys, and then ASIANS. And I totally won't go unless the British guys go because like, otherwise they just speak in their languages, like so much Vietnamese!...(this is my personal favorite) And you know I like, have never been exposed to Asians." So thank you, fellow Americans, for making me proud to hale from the land of people underexposed to Asia.

Besides that Crystal and I just had a merry time talking and catching up and such. The day before that, tuesday, I arrived home from spending a night in Utrecht with approximately 25 other AFSers. Someone (Francesco) had the brilliant (kinda) idea to get everyone together and spend a night in a hostel in Utrecht. Monday morning Ivy and I found everyone standing on a random street in Utrecht not quite sure what to make of the city. Ivy and I went to a couple stores and returned to the group, which was waiting for more people, so we could become a louder, more rowdy group than we already were, and make our way to the hostel. I don't want to take too much credit, but where it is due it is due. I was a major help in getting 20-so foreigners to the hostel. When we were finally there we were...surprised. But I guess you get what you pay for! We had free reign of a kitchen filled with...I'd say food but it was mostly frozen meat, pasta, and pannenkoeken mix. We survived. Needless to say the rest of the night was, eh hem, ridiculous. AFSers were pouring in throughout the night with others running back and forth to the train station to fetch them. There isn't much more to say about the evening.

That about sums up my week! Traveling around this country and coming home to my own bed in between. Today we've been relaxing, went on a walk and the kids collected sticks from the fireworks (it was a mess out there). Tomorrow I'm using one of those unlimited ride day cards for the trains with Ivy so we aren't sure where we're going yet, maybe Rotterdam and Delft, then we're going to Agustina's goodbye party! I'm going to miss the shoppers - especially my Argentinian wife Agustina (te quiero amor mio!). I think the prospect of school coming up isn't so bad. I really need to get the gears moving because this vacation has lasted forever. Also I hope I can get windows up and running on this computer soon because Linux is tiring me out. I don't expect January to be a very busy, interesting month (except for a language test administered by AFS at the end of the month - woo!...) but Febuary at least has Carnival to break things up!

Because Simone Duval Gives the Best Pep Talks Ever

2009-12-26T23:19:00.000+01:00

Oh man. Where to begin. It's been around a week since I last updated. I'd say a lot has happened, but I think the majority is all in my head. I'll start with the story of it all and talk some more in a sec. Ok - so the snow decided it'd be a fun idea to stick around, giving Dutch and South American exchange students alike a blissfully white mid-December. For the kid who grew up in Syracuse, New York and Cleveland, Ohio - blissful wouldn't be the term I'd use. Either way seeing as the Dutch were so illfully prepared for such weather I was essentially barricaded in the house (dramatization but whatever) for 3 whole days. Doing nothing. I sure know how to take advantage of foreign exchange don't I? Actually in those three days I left the house to go "sledding" for an hour. I put that in quotation marks because I feel bad for the Dutch when it comes to this activity. As a child blessed by Central New York winters, sledding was not just an activity - it was a way of life (sky top, anyone?). Either way I'm pretty positive what we used as an incline looked like my front yard in Shaker (that's not saying much in sledding terms). Guess it got me out of the house.

Wednesday I decided I had had enough of myself and went into Eindhoven where I decided I'd get on a train (seeing as someone at the Dutch rails decided to start doing their job and running timely trains) and hang out with Agustina in Breda. During a cold, brisk afternoon we wandered once again around the old streets of Breda, basically eating our way through town. Pizza for lunch, ollibollen for a snack, something else as a snack, a bottle of cheap apple-y champagne in the park, and chocolate milk and fries for dinner. It's a wonder I was able to hold myself up by the time I left. Either way it was a nice reprieve from what had turned into quite a dull winter vacation.

The next day was Christmas Eve. That was a rough one. I'm still up in the air about the emotions I was feeling on that day, whether they were holiday induced or in fact, how I feel here. See the thing is when you're away from home on a holiday like Christmas, it's like nothing you've ever experienced before. I can't even describe the longing for home I've been going through the past couple days and I'm far from afraid to admit that it's been taking a heavy toll on me. Luckily my host mother, Birgit, has been a major rock in this entire ordeal of my roller coaster emotions and I have found that I appreciate here enormously throughout this exchange. We had a really nice fondue dinner that evening and then on Christmas morning we left for Eric's parent's house. I found that it was somewhat comforting to be in a "grandparent's" home for Christmas, it's what I'm used to, and one of the things I was missing most. The food was great, his parents were super nice, and I just read a book all day so as not to get lost in my thoughts of what I was (what some may say "was not") missing.

To say this experience thus far has been a roller coaster is an understatement. I have not faced such large challenges in my life ever. The hardest part of this all is that I have grown to realize that the challenge is, in fact, myself. That is, to overcome the boundaries I have set up in my head and break into a world that isn't as forgiving as the one I come from. By that I don't wish to infer anything about the Dutch people, I simply am trying to say that when you're on exchange, living with essentially new people...there isn't as much room run away with good excuse. Going upstairs to do homework and leaving the house don't exactly equate to the same thing here for me. When they are used as excuses here, in reality, it's me that's pulling back into my own world, and not going off to take care of the aforementioned chore. Get it? Maybe.

This past week time has slowed for me infinitesimally. As I approach what very well be my half way point of exchange (I won't go into details, but I may end the program in June instead of July for, like I said, reasons I'll explain if I do take this measure) I see things in such a different light. The students from the Southern Hemisphere are leaving. We are the old group now. In 2 months more students will come, even fresher and newer than us although I still feel so green and unskilled at surviving in this country. I don't want to mince words with the future me that reads this blog or whoever else decides I'm interesting: I think about going home all the time. But I think the main thing that speaks to me personally as reason to stay (although I could list off all the reasons I feel that I don't fit) is that I haven't gone yet. There's something in me that won't give up this bizarre, altered stretch of time I have here, even though some days I have great doubts in myself.

I hope these worries fade as more time passes because like I said, I'm almost half-way done. And doesn't that attest to something? I titled this entry so because I have discussed how I feel here with so many people, and none have made it click and seem the way it did other than Simone. The frank part of it is, people give me encouragement, tell me I can stick it out and all, but it's so different for me to here it all plus some from someone who is going through this experience on the opposite side of the world. Someone I consider to be smart and (usually) rational making you realize you have done something helps. At this point I'm rambling because I barely am sure if all these makes completely sense but thank you Simone Duval for saying some of the best stuff I've heard all year. And my American parents and host parents for watching me be a spaz and sticking by my side through it. Wanna hear the good news? You've got 5 more months of it!

What A Decent Emergency Snow Plan Could Do for this Country

2009-12-19T15:25:00.000+01:00

After what started off as a slow week, Saturday has finally arrived. The bummer is I am not in Belgium as a planned to be, unfortunately.

Tuesday afternoon I picked up my bud Peggy, exchanger in Belgium, from the train station. Family problems and a 5 hour trek left her slightly frazzled - it's all good. I tried my best to show her some interesting stuff in her time here. We only walked around Eindhoven for about 30 minutes if that then she got on a bus to Waalre and I biked home. That night I got pretty sick which carried into Wednesday, disprupting our plans to go to 'S-Hartogenbosch for the day. What else happened that day? I received a package from home! It was spectacular to feel like I was holding something that came directly from Shaker Heights, Ohio and hasn't been languishing in the harsh winds of Northern Europe. We learned (my family and I) that we will never be communicating via UPS again ($190 on their side and €56 on mine? nah thanks). Even so it had some warm clothes and nice pictures from home which I stuck up in my room to add some color finally.

It also snowed! Now let me tell you, this whole snow subject works as a great segway from Wednesday to Thursday. Wednesday we were stuck inside feeling sick and watching Sister Act 2 (bare with me) and then it was snowing. woo. Now Thursday it was still snowing when we decided to head out on our day trip (instead of Den Bosch we decided to go to Utrecht). It was obviously a warning I did not heed when it took 90 minutes to get a train to Utrecht (unheard of)! When we finally did get on the measly 50 minute direct train (funny story - we had to listen the entire day to the loud speaker in the train station alerting people of changes and cancellations to trains. When they announced our train got switched from platform 5 to 4 (in Dutch, naturally) everyone ran like the tracks were on fire. Funny part? Peggy, living in French Belgium, obviously didn't catch it and was sorta left in the lurch when I took off with the crazed hoard of Dutchmen. Just made me feel slightly...Dutch) and arrived in Utrecht we were both surprised at how pleasant it was. There was of course the feeling that it was a typical Dutch city a la Leiden and Amsterdam, but at the same time it felt very managable while still being filled with stuff to do. The snow also did put a nice little mute on the world, adding something to the canals and bridges that I really enjoyed.

We checked out a church, did some shopping, and observed some really dumb Americans givin' our country a good name by flaunting their marijuana in the street. When all of this kinda dried up and stores began to close we headed back to the train station. Arriving at about 4:40 pm there was something fishy with the situation immediately. Why are all these people walking towards us? It's awfully crowded. Well, I of course looked right away to the giant ticker that sits at the center of the ginourmous Utrecht main hall and guess what? It was empty. The huge station was packed with people. Why? Because of barely 2 inches of snow. We stood with hundreds of other impatient travelers for around 90 minutes. Albert Heijn handed out free pastries and it was somewhat amusing yet at the same time frustrating to watch the same train going to Rotterdam Central switch from Platform 10 to 12 to 11 then back to 12 over the course of 20 minutes. Trains were mayhem. We talked to people that said they had been waiting for 3 hours! Utrecht appeared coveniently to be the center of the Dutch train problem of Thursday. Lucky us. It was only after our third go-round in the station's Albert Heijn did we walk out and see - BY GEORGE - a train to Eindhoven! Happy days!

Not. In my excited state I pushed my way through all the people (I had been waiting for this opportunity to push through the crowds to a train to Eindhoven much like everyone had done to be the past 90 minutes) and sprinted down the stairs and - WOO triumph! - hopped onto the first train I saw. We went to the second, floor didn't even care we were so happy and went right into first class for some reason. Then I read a sign that made my stomach sink.

"'Scuse me sir, where is this train going?"
"Den Haag Central"
pfffffsss train doors slide close. train begins to move. Peggy and Patrick exchange shocked glances as we watch the train to Eindhoven pull up on the opposite side of the platform

Let me just say. That moment was the beginning of one of those what-the-hell nights. The kind man in first class assured us that we could catch a direct from Den Haag straight to Eindhoven. I agreed, having done that trip myself a couple times, that we should be fine. During the 45 minute ride there I chuckled a little to myself, thinking what a funny mistake that was. HAH. Not too long later we arrived in Den Haag Centraal. I ran to the schedule to see that all the trains going anywhere near Eindhoven were not running. Asked the information who directed us to a train to Rotterdam. We ran (it was a running evening, folks) to this train and just got it. Happy happy because we'd be able to get one there. Wrong again. We were told there to get on a train to Breda. We went back we were to just wait when a train worker was yelling that this train heading to Dordrecht would also go to Breda. Yes. We met a nice guy on the train who was talking to us about what a horrible day this was and all the trains he'd been on (boy could I relate). Unfortunately, the train did not continue to Breda. It ended in Dordrecht.

There we waited for a train to Breda. Which was "coming" from about 3 different platforms. Finally it settled on one and we waited there. Too bad it was delayed. Like everything else. We got to Breda. Checked the board. YES! A train to Eindhoven! We went right over there and began to wait. People came and came and soon you could tell Eindhoven was the hot-spot of the evening, the unreachable destination. We chatted it up with people coming from Schipol, a girl trying to get to Eindhoven herself, a girl trying to get all the way down past Maastricht (if you need geographical help during this post pull up a map, you'll be amazed at this journey), and an old guy or two who seemed to be in charge of a group of...other old people. Too bad that train to Eindhoven fell out too. And the one after it. Instead of rolling the dice one more time to get directly to Eindhoven. This mass of people decided we'd better ourselves to just get as close as possible, and hop on the first train to Tilburg. Did it! In Tilburg it finally came, bringing with it a shining light of all that represented hope and love in the world to me at that very moment. The sign on the train read - Eindhoven. Glory be! My sore legs and cold hands finally had an end in sight! Oh wait, the train to Eindhoven from Tilburg was coming at 11:15 pm. Remember when we started this? 4:40 pm. Now the question was - are we going to get a bus home? We got to Eindhoven, which had never felt so amazing. And yes - one more bus would run! We made it home, frazzled, to say the least, at 1 am. I begrudgingly woke up the next morning at 6:55 to bike to school.

and THAT, folks, is why I don't like it when it snows in the Netherlands.

Yeah We Ridin' Through the Forest & We All up on Our Bikes..

2009-12-13T17:27:00.001+01:00

Just thought I'd break everyone off a little piece of Patrick Matthews and David Henry's rap skills. Since I last posted in here I finished Sinterklaas, which was a really cozy, nice day. As surprises I got a chocolate P, €10 for my cell phone, and a commemorative coin of Eindhoven! Cool. I stayed in that evening and probably just got my chill on - I don't really remember. Sunday was of course uneventful. School this week ended up feeling kinda long but it passed so who cares. I think part of it was I was having stomach issues (which I've kinda had since I arrived here, they just got worse recently), and I was really trying to figure out what the problem was. In the course of this I have cut diksap out of my diet entirely, which is probably a good thing (both for my body and...well the fact that I'm 18 and drinking the equivalent of Juicy Juice all day).

I had to buy a new bike! Jesus. That kinda chapped me a little. But it was a necessary evil and now I have an actually pretty nice bike that I got relatively cheap (Ok double what I paid for the last one). Turns out after I got the spokes fixed two weeks ago they broke again and the guy wanted to do a repair of all the back spokes for €50! No way jose. So I splurged and well now I'm significantly happier. I'm still working on the violin and I have a number to call someone to talk about renting I've just been lazy in general. Also, I am so satisfied with how things are going lately. I really am happy here. For the first time ever I thought that to myself in school Friday. "I'm really happy I'm doing this, I love the Netherlands." No joke. It took a while, but everything feels like it's headed in the right direction! It's still a struggle with friends and people in school to find a balance with Dutch (most don't realize I do understand stuff, I just gotta get myself to speak).

This Friday I hopped a train (typical) and went to Roosendaal, where I took a bus to Oud Gastel to spend a weekend with Agustina (Argentina!). We had a really amazing dinner with some sandwich-like thing from Argentina and I literally STUFFED myself with all the meat and fatty foods I don't eat so much here at my home (I'm alright with this, I came to the realization afterward that it would be a desperate situation if I had access to such foods). This is probably something I'd put in parenthesis but I don't know where to add it and it's not really important but I also weighed myself at Agustina's! It sounds lame but I haven't weighed myself in around 4 months (yes as of this Friday I've been gone for 4 months, crazy!?) of exchange and I was pleased to find out I actually haven't changed at all (probably a balance of biking / less snack foods combating the unalterable forces of exchange student weight gain). Either way we relaxed, had a little teensy bit of AFS chaos going on at the house I won't go into, and watched a movie which I feel asleep too so we called it a night (my girl Agustina doesn't really speak English so we speak Spanish, we were watching a movie in Spanish, needless to say after my time with her my brain was a little fried).

Yesterday we got to see Breda (I'll add pictures)! It's a really pretty, old city not too far west of Eindhoven. We just explored really, walked around a bit and shopped (none of us got anything unless you count my Olliebol). In the afternoon we parted ways and I trekked back home, hung out for a bit, then it was time to wind it up again. I had invited my friends over to meet Birgit and Eric and then we'd just chill at my house. So they got here in the evening after a little trouble and we just talked and messed around and they got to meet my host parents (which I thought was important for both sides since I talk about each to the other so often). Around midnight, after some arm twisting (Dustin didn't want to leave before his beers were finished), we headed out to the city. I can make the trip in 20 minutes by myself, but with a group of six it well, took a little longer. We had a couple pit stops (including one in the middle of an intersection in Waalre so David and Dustin could...wrestle) and my camera suffered some damages when it fell out of my pocket onto the road and I ran over it (it's fine, just now has a couple battle scars. I'd take a picture but, well, it's my camera). Eventually we got to town. Didn't really spend that much time there that night because we got there so late but it's still always something down there.

Sometimes I think it's sorta funny that I didn't expect there to be that many differences between Dutch and American culture. Reading forums on AFS groups for prospective students it's interesting seeing other student's advising others that Europe isn't such a different experience or things of that nature. When in fact that's not true at all. I really have just surfaced from culture shock and I realize that. It took me a long time to adjust to life here but it's finally all calming down. I've made a decision to take more pictures because I realize there are so many things I want to see and remember here and it'll be a shame if I can't capture them. I'm going to be hopefully taking a lot of pictures soon because this Friday started kerstvakantie for the beginning of which I'm going to spend in Belgium with Peggy (who comes to the Netherlands Tuesday!), then comes Christmas, after which is a series of AFS student planned things and new years (which I'm not sure who to go with yet - AFS to Amsterdam or Dutch friends in Eindhoven? I'm leaning towards my friends at home because I think that would be generally more rewarding in the end).

I would love to think of quirky, interesting things that make the Dutch different to put in here but when I sit and try to think about it I draw a blank. As you probably remember from earlier in my blog everything was a shock / novelty. Now, if I forgot to mention it when I discovered it, you will probably never hear about it, it's just normal to me now. From strippenkarts and sensors under the sidewalk for the bike traffic light to Albert Heijn and the Dutch rails - it's all becoming part of me. This week I picked up my Dutch ID card - I remember applying for it the 4th of September. They gave me a letter saying I'd be able to get it in a couple months and I remember thinking "wow. a couple months? what will it even be like by that time?" The answer? A lot of ups and downs but significant pace in a good direction nowadays. Having great friends, doing great things - it just makes things feel so together. I like it.

Agustina and I in Breda

Castle in Breda (pretty, huh?)

Street in Breda

Being counterproductive in getting to town

Essence of my life here

ps. I can bike to school now without my hands. If exchange ended there I could live happy.

Sinterklaas!

2009-12-05T14:25:00.000+01:00

Today is Sinterklaas! A Dutch holiday which centers around a man that resembles in most aspects Santa Claus himself. Differences? Sinterklaas comes from Spain in a boat with his Zwart Piets, little elfish guys with black faces (from coming down the chimney to deliver presents, Sinterklaas is too high class to do it himself - take that Santa). Either way when children are younger "Sinterklaas" gives them gifts and they eat candy and pepernoten and all is good in the world. Since this is the first year Sonja and Dennis don't believe in Sinterklaas (there was a mishap last year which involved Sonja recognizing Eric's hand when he threw the presents at the door, Dennis broached the topic at dinner one day, putting it quite eloquently for a nine year old "I really have some doubts about Sinterklaas." cracks me up), we are doing what they call surprises. Sort of like secret santa except on a budget.You make/buy a small present for someone and make a container which will hold the present (i.e. I drew Oma (grandma) so I decided to give her peanuts strung on a line for the birds (she asked for it!), as a container I made a bird house and hide the gift in the base). Ok so you get the idea. It's a much bigger deal than Christmas, or so I hear, so I'm really trying to enjoy the holiday festivities while they last.

In other news things have actually been going great since I last wrote in here. I have completely done a 180 and I have no one else to thank but myself. I have changed how I am viewing this experience and so much else has just fallen into place since then (I know it's only 10 days but I feel really good!) . I picked up a music class at school and, while it's still school, I do think it's cool (I have so much to relearn...)! A girl in my class is going to help me get my hands on a violin to rent and yeah it's just pretty exciting in general. I'm yet to hear back about Den Haag Model UN but hopefully word comes soon. All in all nothing revolutionary has happened but I just still feel good.

I have made plans to go to Belgium at the beginning of December to go visit ex-Camp Fitch compadre and fellow exchange student Peggy Olson! I'm so pumped for this one. We're going to see some Brussels and just do some general exploring. Very exciting. Not much to say on this, it's just cool.

Still rainy and gross here in terms of weather. One week it just rained every single day, it sucked. But I guess to an extent you get used to it (I'm not sure I'm at this point yet I'm just saying...I guess it's possible). My bike has been giving my trouble (with a capital T), trouble, trouble. I just got 3 spokes fixed this week then last night by some fateful occurrence two other spokes broke, I'm pretty sure the back tire is crooked, and possible even something with the breaks! Needless to say I won't be riding it if I go out tonight. Money pit. Birgit says unless you pay 500 Euro for a bike then this is a regular occurrence, I believe her but what a bummer.

This entry is just a conglomerate of random topics so bear with me. I am definitely making strides in Dutch. When my friends speak I really do understand somewhere around 2/3 of what is happening, then I react in English and they kinda get all 'if you understood...why did you chime in in English?' It's really hard to describe the lapse between understanding and speaking for me here. I didn't pressure myself to speak a lot in most of these previous months here so I really am just starting to get down and dirty with it. Birgit has cut English significantly in the house and while I still find it hard sometimes to follow what they're saying it will definitely help in the long run (I don't know how many people can understand this sensation, but when I'm spoken to in Dutch I get all wide eyed and uhh...yeah...mhmm....'ja' but when I am not being spoken to, just around it, I pick up an immensely larger amount of the conversation, probably because I'm relaxed and it really just flows right into my mind).

As a final part of this entry, I want to take the time to express the sadness I feel right now for Julia Clark and her family. My heart aches for Julia, Danny, and the rest of the Clarks. I hope that they can stay strong in these times and that they know they are not alone. Rest in Peace, Linda Clark - you are loved and missed.

Manos A La Obra

2009-11-25T19:14:00.001+01:00

Literally, "hands to the work." I'm writing this fresh off a Monday breakdown where I seriously weighed my situation and what I need to do to make myself successful here. It has been anything but easy thus far but I know that persevering will pay off. The people who jokingly tell me to come home don't realize how it negatively affects my mindset but also exactly what I am doing here. I have been told many, many times that I am doing something especially "unique" and have heard more than once that this is an "amazing opportunity to do what you love." For me it has taken me hitting my ump-teenth bump in the road, this bump dragging me way down, to make me realize, screw it. It is only a year. Yeah I may never love the Dutch language, but hell, I'll try my best. I am going to use the motivation I've recently found to do something. Find volunteer work in Eindhoven? Pick the violin back up? The Hague Model United Nations? All of those sound like me (Ok - maybe not the violin part, but you don't understand my dire straits).

Another thing I've come to realize is something about the family I'm with. Yeah, there are tons of things about them that annoy me. Yeah, they tell me unfathomably unnecessary things (i.e. comparing me to a black hole which drags all sound towards me where it disappears). But hey, they've dealt with my shit for three months already, and that's more than I'm sure some people would do. Therefore I can deal too (I may never adjust to the 1993 Ace of Base album they play every night at dinner...but nothing's perfect).

Lately though, in between crises, I have been having some fun! In my previous entry I mentioned I'd be going to Amsterdam/Alkmaar that weekend - it was superb! Ivy and I went to Amsterdam Thursday morning with the intent to find a hostel first. I had written some down (Thanks, Ivy) so we went searching for the one that looked the best. First we went to Bob's Youth Hostel (Peggy - this is where we were gonna go. I'm happy I saw it before we ever had to stay there) but that wasn't really...yeah no. So then we got this crazy idea to just wander till we found the next one. Well, let me tell you, I walked me ass off ("Jeff, Jeff, where's Jeff?").

Ivy and I arrived at the Flying Pig Backpacker's Hostel dying of foot pain. It's ok, or it must've been because then we left to walk some more. We did some light shopping, walked back into the center, had a really good dinner at some Argentinian steak house, then went uptown again to hang out for the evening. Ivy wasn't really feeling up to, well, doing anything functional after the day we'd had - so we were asleep by 12. Lame, huh? I thought it was funny that we didn't even try to go out in Amsterdam, I guess it holds less importance to us since it's a 90 minute train ride away. Whereas most of the other people in the hostel were actually vacationing (vacationing in Amsterdam in mid-November?! gross. Weather was horrible).

Friday we woke up rather refreshed, bought ourselves some museum cards (22€ for free admission to all Dutch museums, while the Van Gogh museum would've cost 12€! Well that's only because the freaking lady behind the glass ID'ed me to get into the museum as a 17 year old! Jesus.) Then we went to the Rijksmuseum, which is like, the oldest museum or some big fart or whatever. Then we got bored and left for Alkmaar. I had a really good weekend celebrating birthdays and all that nonsense (Dorene, Francesco's host mom, made hats and aprons embroidered for Francesco, Rafael, PP (his host dad) and me! I was so pumped). The week that followed had a couple catastrophes on the home front, but it's ok, problems mostly solved (or at least being worked on, I won't divulge).

This past weekend was the AFS sinterklaas camp at my liason Rieky's house (or should I say her guest house. She put up 20+ exchange students in the house behind the bigger house!). It was as well tons of fun. I mean it's the AFSers. If you're ready this and have never come into contact with a large group of AFSers (which would be far and few in between I'd like to assume on this sort of blog), you are missing out. The kids you meet and the personalities you run into are unforgettable. For the first time I've been in this country I laughed so hard I cried last weekend (because let me just say, do not try and get between a crazed group of south american chicas and sinterklaas, you might come out missing limbs).

The past couple days I have still been struggling with the reasons why I've come here. I've listened to those I consider closest to me and those that I frankly don't. I've still come to one conclusion. As much advice as I get from the people not going through this experience. And as much advice as I get from people going through this with me or having done it themselves, this year is for me. I need to make a decision and I can't rely off the advice of others to do what will make me happier and more successful here during my hiatus. I'm not used to being in the type of position where I actually need to make myself happy - long term. In high school happiness was fleeting, a night at the D-Spot or the best dance party that year, but the long term happiness was my friends. They were always there right when I needed them. Well guess what world (which happens to include Patrick Matthews)? Those moments were fleeting too, we just barely stopped to notice them. So now I sit here, and I have to do what makes me happy. Waking up every morning and not looking forward to something is not something I do well, but in fact it's what I've been subjecting myself to for weeks now (did you know that this past weekend was 3 months? Still pretty impressive, right?). Thus, it begins here. From here on out I plaster on a go-for-it attitude and do it. What does that even mean? I have no clue, but I was serious about picking up the violin!

ps. my french teacher thinks elephant poop smells amazing, pass it on.

Continuation

2009-11-09T14:31:00.000+01:00

So it's been about two weeks since I last posted and not so much has happened. Well ok that could be a little bit of a lie. After about 24 slightly restful hours at home after Berlin I left for Luxembourg with my host parents. A 3 hour drive I fully slept through and then we arrived at our camping site. Yeah, I camped - no biggie. So yeah we explored the city for a couple days and it is a beautiful place. If you are in Europe and have a free couple days, visit Luxembourg. It won't thrill you with touristy stuff or time-of-your-life activities but it really was one of the most beautiful place I've ever seen (I'll add some pictures). The only issue with the trip was that I was slightly distraught for a large chunk of it. After that exhausting episode with AFS in Berlin I just frankly did not have the energy for that trip. I know it sounds lame and all that but I just wanted to quit, and furthering my mental exhaustion by going to Luxembourg didn't help much. We had some serious conversations, my host parents and me. It'll be ok but it's hard to just keep yourself 100% together all the time through this - really.

Then we came home to the Netherlands and my mind was still pooped so I relaxed some more. Saturday I had one of those all day train tickets that was about to expire so I hoped on the train to Leiden where the kids from the province of South Holland were having a "cultural day." I walked along with them for the day and it was nice to get to see a city I may not have otherwise. Leiden was kinda what you'd think of if you thought Netherlands. Just the aesthetics of it all. After that I caught a train with Crystal to The Hague and we hung out there for a couple hours just bumming around. Then I took another train back home where I hung out with friends that evening in town - superb.

I had one week of school except this week is test week (obviously I'm what you would call less than useful during this time) so I don't really have to go! I'm supposed to be reading and practicing Dutch in my free time this week in hopes of adding those ever elusive extra classes...we'll see. On Thursday I am going to Amsterdam with Ivy to explore a little bit and put a stopper on the monotony of the week. After that we are continuing on to Alkmaar to celebrate Francesco and Rafael's birthday for the weekend. I'm pretty excited for it all.

This past weekend I spent with exchangers since all my friends from school were studying for exams - boo. But it was still a cool weekend! Ivy, Sinead (NZL), and Agustina (Argentina) all came to my house for the weekend and we just chilled really, not that much to do except talk and entertain each other. Saturday night we went into town and Sunday we literally just sat around all day but it was still nice.

So as things become more and more common and normal in my head I guess it'd be good to explain how stuff is now here. A good starting point I think would be school. I'll go through my classes again like I did at the beginning and give you a little picture of how it all works nowadays.

English: I'm useless. I don't really do anything, even the tests. We've been watching Becoming Jane in class and well...it's essentially been just that. Students do exercises in their books and it's just a snooze in general. Teacher hacks her daughter's hyves on occasion, pretty weird.

Geography: I am generally unappreciated in this class as the cultural gift that I am. Whatever that means. Teacher seriously is bitter that I'm there. Nags me a lot about when I'm going to learn Dutch, take tests, understand the lesson, and that all in all it's "really a pity you're in this class." Why thanks.

French: I really like this class in some weird way. Partly because it's French and I don't need to be amazing at Dutch to be in the class (just this week my teacher asked where I learned French so well, props madame). I can take part in tests and activities where the questions and stuff are in French, although sometimes it's in Dutch and I revert to my useless ways.

Dutch: Well this is the uh, most pointless class for me. But I still go and sit through it! It's all good. I can sometimes follow what the teacher is saying, although typically I choose not to. It's about reading, writing, and speaking well the Dutch language. They've had to do essays, presentations, and debates in this class. I either don't participate or I do it in English, ironic.

History: Well our history teacher got all pregnant on us so now we have a permanent sub of sorts. She is not such a nice woman. She just yells at the class a lot, a lot. She did give me a packet on Dutch history/culture, nothing I hadn't known but nice none the less. Apparently she'll be emailing me assignments which I have to admit, is nice in a as-happy-as-a-student-can-get-when-a-teacher-does-extra-work-for-them kinda way.

Government/Social Studies: Another class I pretty much don't understand. I still hold that it would be an interesting class if I understood it. I can look/listen to little stuff and pick up bits but yeah that just gets tedious. Teacher is a hoot so I give him a thumbs up on this alone.

Oh, I'm done already? Yeah those are all my classes. Impressive, huh? Like I said though I can see how my life here changes my writing. After two and a half months this blog feels really difference to me. I hope I can still bring that humor and wit that I brought those first 6 or 7 weeks for the rest of this blog because it was something I really enjoyed, while lately I feel that new discoveries and the excitement of it all is quickly wearing off. It really begs the question, why did I do this? I know I will find a clear answer eventually, but until then I still just feel like I am wandering.

see what I mean

Brandenberg Tor in Berlin

more beautiful Luxembourg

Saschsenhaussen Concentration Camp

Francesco & I in Berlin

And In More Recent News...

2009-10-26T20:46:00.000+01:00

Ok so I didn't think it was possible but I have reached a stage where I am semi busy / don't really have a lot to blog about so it results in more spread out posts - such as our current situation. I have two weeks of happenings to cover so I'll try my best to recount them as accurately as I can. Since my last entry I have just been going to school and keepin it real in the hood (this is why I haven't updated - sorry). I don't think much interesting happened the week before last except one day during school we went into town and I got the air taken out of my tire! Luckily, the Dutch, as you may have heard, are fond of biking, so it wasn't to hard to get it fixed back at school.

Last weekend I hung out with friends on Friday and it just felt surprisingly normal which I guess is a good thing right? I would assume so. Saturday night Ivy just came over and we got our bake on with some peanut butter cookies which were quite good. Watched Star Wars (the video collection in this household is limited - I don't hold it against them) then Zodiac (on the computer) and went to sleep. It was probably closer to what I'd say a normal weekend would be at home, if you transferred it to my life here.

Stuff got a little rough last weekend with my host family and a lot of stuff culminated into one day and yeah, wasn't easy. I can write about it with a pretty level head now and like I have written earlier, I want to keep this portrayal of my stay as accurate as I can, which means mentioning stuff like this. I won't dig into the details of the situation but it started when my host mother approached me telling me she didn't think I had enough culinary skills to tackle a Thanksgiving dinner, an effort which, in her opinion, I should forgo. Obviously that didn't sit too well with me. We got our chat on later that night and I think things will get better around here. I can honestly say it is a really hectic household and sometimes I'm not sure if it's for me but I believe that I can do it. I really think Birgit and Eric care about me, I feel comfortable in the house, and I would really not prefer to leave my school or Eindhoven.

Last week in school was, well, not a full week! I left for BERLIN on Thursday evening with AFS!! Around 9 o'clock Ivy and I met about 14 other kids from the south of the Netherlands at Eindhoven train station to get the bus (easy for me, huh?). We pulled out and headed north to get the students from the central and western areas and then went up more to get the people in the north. Then we actually started driving towards Berlin - at midnight. Ok so here's the deal, obviously sleep was hard to come by...in the end I slept about the last two hours of the ride on the floor. We got off the bus at about 8 at got some breakfast. Bus left and then we started our walking day (it last until 9 pm! I was not a happy camper when that bus pulled away that morning).

I could recite which sites of Berlin we saw but honestly I don't know their names except the parliament building (I think) and some other stuff. Of course we got to see the wall and Checkpoint Charlie and important stuff like that and of course it was amazing bonding with other exchangers who I must admit, are quite fun. Saturday we went to a concentration camp, Sachsenhausen. I thought this was a super nice thing to see and I know in the future it'll be something very nice and special to be able to say I've seen. After learning about that kind of stuff in school forever it's kinda surreal to be there and I'm not completely sure it clicked when I was there, luckily I took plenty of pictures. Sunday we continued to walk, went to see Charlottenberg palace, which I really liked. Took a boat ride, blahblahblah. I know it sounds crazy to say blahblahblah but honestly I was so tired by that time that I was trying my hardest to be social and appreciate Berlin that a lot of events are sort of melded together in my memory now - either way a veritably excellent trip. I hope to see a lot of the other students in the future - I think I am going to Groningen with Ivy in a couple weeks to see some people and the following week I hope to go to Alkmaar for Francesco's birthday. After that I have a weekend orientation camp and the following week would be Thanksgiving weekend, when I hope to have some stuff arranged so my life isn't completely void of a holiday I didn't realize I held in such high esteem.

As you can tell I have a lot of stuff lined up for the next couple weeks so I hope everything works out. They say that the third month is crisis month so I'm going to try really hard to get myself going and together. I want to search out some stuff to keep myself busy with soon. I know I have just explained the busy weekends which lie ahead of me but I still feel bored time and time again. At home I really never faced this problem - especially once I started working at Panera, and after I got that down my life really reached a great point. I hope I can find something here to stay interested in. Please tell me this post wasn't a disappointment because I feel slightly dissatisfied with this one but I just don't know what to say right now. But at least it can give you a good idea of what's going on in my life right now. k houdoe.

This Entry Is a Shout Out to Erin Bozarth

2009-10-13T20:53:00.001+02:00

Hey there. I decided that although not much has happened in my life (although I can summarize what has) I will use this entry to do something to address Dutch cultural differences or some hoo-hah like that. First thing first, whatchu been doin' Patrick? Since my last entry I have been going to school (duh) and considering picking up some additional classes. I have been presented with the choice of adding Math (at the lowest level, C), which would be like statistical stuff, as well as the option to choose between Economics and a type of Management class. Gotta get the energy to go up to the department office and be like "give me more classes please." Because well, let's face it, it takes a lot to want to go somewhere to sign up for classes. People in school are still consistently nice which I find very good. This past weekend on Friday I had dinner at a classmate's house, Thomas. It was really great in my opinion - he's got a nice family, scrumptious food, and we watched TV!!!! It was like Jesus showering kisses all over me for being a good person.

This brings me to a very sore subject - Dutch weather. I despise it. Already. It rains way too much for comfort and when you are biking as much as you do here in the Naythurlinds it really does stink. I got drenched three times during the week and when I wanted to leave Thomas' around midnight it was raining pretty hard. Luckily here when it pours the Dutch strap up in their rain jacket and yes - rain pants. So I borrowed some of those suckers and fiet-sed (that is my anglicism of biked) it home. But seriously, I hear the next months are rather rough so I'm trying to mentally prepare. I have a rain jacket but I doubt that will sufficde. We'll see.

The rest of the weekend was pretty normal I guess you could say. Ivy and I wandered downtown Eindhoven for a while on Saturday and then I went home. Later that night I met people in town and it was alright I suppose. I definitely like the people here more than the way in which they party. Personal opinion though. Sunday was generic sitting around and then this week started. I am trying really hard to find something to do because well a lot of the activities I held as really important at home have been swiped out right from under me. Between homework, Panera, and friends all of those have changed significantly. I can't work a real job, can't do actual homework, and although I have friends, I miss the feeling of being part of your friends life (waking up to a text message or phone call, spontaneous activities, just less thought in general). I hope this changes with time because I'd love to be a part of some of these people's lives - I truly like them a lot. I have become rather determined to prove that one can have something to do if they don't participate in sports since our society holds it as such an esteemed pastime. I wish there was some good volunteer work or internships I could find in Eindhoven. Could be great for my Dutch seeing as homework is a nonexistent entity.

Oh I said I'd do something focusing on Dutch stuff in general didn't I? Ok let's think here...5 things that make the Dutch dutch.

1) I'd start with bikes, but how cliche? Instead I'll talk about something my host parents were telling me about. When Dutch people sigh, it has a very specific sound to it. They all go "ah-ha" with different inflections in their voice for each part. It doesn't particular bother me nor do I find myself infatuated with the situation but it is true. I was slightly skeptical when my host parents told me about it, but sure enough, tons of kids in school do it!

2) Buienradar.nl This website shows a map of the Netherlands and the clouds that are uhm...floating on the country at the current time (due to my lack of proper education for the past six months, I have lost most linguistic eloquence). But in fact it is quite a handy device, if it looks unpredictable outside I give this website a quick check and some days I can be pretty useful. My host parents use it, kids seem to just laugh and nod when I mentioned it at school, and when it started pouring Friday night all we needed to do was put that baby up to see that well, the rain wasn't stopping any time soon. Curse the rain, but let us give thanks for buienradar.nl

3) Ok we all knew I couldn't hold out that long before I mentioned something about biking. The Dutch amaze me with their tact, grace, and composure on bikes. They can bike in multiple layers without looking the least bit uncomfortable, while I bike to school with a sweatshirt on freezing cold mornings and still feel gross and hot when I get to school - not ok. On top of that boy can they make straight lines with them bikes! I can't stay straight ahead for the life of me! I weave a lot and truth be told I find it fascinating that on the bike paths there is a dotted(?) line in the center to divide it - like a road. So I can often be found weaving my bike in between these lines. Reckless - yes. Fun - yes. Something 18 year olds do - no. It really reinforces the idea that I have that I am mentally a Dutch 4 year old. Between my cycling skills, the diksap, my Dutch knowledge. So here's a sad story. Biking out to town on Saturday night, an unfortunately late 12:30 am, my FRENCH teacher sees me as he is biking the other way. He just smiles at me and I know I will regret this on Tuesday when I have French. Sure enough. Today, in front of the whole class, he talks about seeing me swerving every which way into town at midnight thirty. Needless to say he thought I was intoxicated. I regretfully informed my surrounding classmates I'm just really terrible at biking. I think I'm giving off this image that Americans don't know how to bike - Sorry everyone.

4/5) Yeah I'm lazy and I'm going to combine these two because frankly I don't think I could continue this exercise otherwise. Four and five are rather boring so don't say I didn't warn you and if you want feel free to skip down a little when I finish. Pin pass and Hyves. Two things that honestly I have never heard of/ doubt I would have ever heard of before being here. Pin pass along with (CHIP) are credit card/ payment methods. I don't have much to say about them except most stores except this instead of credit cards, making it rather difficult to go about one's daily business without taking out money left and right. I'll survive - possibly. Hyves is like the Dutch version of Facebook because, typical Dutch, no one can just conform and be like oh sure we'll use the same social network the rest of the world uses and make everyone's lives easier. No. Not even close. Eventually I'll probably be forced to conform. Jesus.

Ok so you gotta gimme props, I kinda finished that list. That was like the most mental strain I've had in a long time. Thinking of five things that make the Dutch individuals. So that begs the question, who should be more embarrassed, the Dutch or me? Okkkk well I'm going to relax my mind after all that strain. T-minus 9 days until Berlin!

Pursuit of Happiness

2009-10-04T20:22:00.002+02:00

So I figured I'd keep strong with this idea that I'm going to update on or around Sundays of each week. First thing first - I want to know what people think about this blog / how I could spice it up. I want to do new things on here or show off what people want to see. Obviously since I'm writing this I include what I can but I don't know what I'm leaving out of my experience! I would think a key component would be pictures (I'm sorry about this, really. I am not that big of a picture person sometimes, especially of late. I'll try and change this). So got it? Suggestions, please!

My life has sort of normalized, or is, at least, well on it's way to becoming normal. I feel as though I have found friends who I think are pretty cool and whom I feel comfortable around, I feel ok with the host family and within the house. I'm starting to understand what they're thinking and where they're coming from. Another thing I'm realizing is why I came here. I'm reading this really great book, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, where this rich, little Parisian girl is considering killing herself and setting fire to her expensive apartment unless she finds something meaningful in life before that point. It's really getting me to look past little, silly things in life and focus on people and sort of the motion of the world (I use that word because it's something she talks about a lot, and I understand it sounds relatively silly to write this all in here and attempt to sound so profound but I've really been looking at stuff differently lately). What I'm saying boils down to this: I am beginning to understand why I put off college. I wasn't ready to sit with a bunch of American students for another year and go through the typical motions. I needed something I would remember, something that I couldn't hold onto but would still be there with me. I hope the experiences that come as a result of this year really help me learn about what's going on around us. That when you get rid of the pressure of school, grades, the social circle you've known for years, you can take notice of the little things that make us operate in such unique fashions. (I really hope this all didn't sound like a silly mess, I've been thinking it just unsure how to pronounce it).

Since last week I've just had another week of school - the difference, you ask? Friends. You don't notice how crucial a role it plays in everyday life until it's pulled out from under you - then you miss it like crazy. Fortunately I feel this issue has been resolved for me, and for that, I am grateful. Class, however, is still class (except in Dutch). Dutch is coming I suppose, though I wouldn't say quickly (yet I wouldn't say slowly either). I finally ordered textbooks and they came, something I surely could've done weeks ago, but who cares. Everyone in AFS is getting all worked up because Berlin is only 2.5 weeks away and Lord knows what an episode that will be.

I'm also excited to say I'm planning some other travel! This week we had our buitlander reis (something along the lines of trip abroad) meeting in the evening. In VWO5 or HAVO4 you take a trip towards the end of April with the class. At Van Maerlant (my school) we can choose from trips to Barcelona, Rome, London, Southern Spain, Berlin, and a trip of the Outdoor variation (on bikes, somewhere not so far - pass). Hopefully I will be able to get on the trip to Rome because the Latin students get priority and the rest must compete for the remaining spots (luckily my contact/mentor/go-to-woman Mevrouw Henry says she will work her tushy off (not that exact phrase, she's German, so we don't mince words, although she is a very nice lady) to get me on the Rome trip, thanks bud). Other possible plans for the future is a trip with Ivy to Dublin in December (this is highly in the works, but hopefully it'll all be fine) and something after Berlin with my host parents (they said "well I'd say max somewhere 5 hours away, so have your choice from that"...seriously!?).

Jesus I get so worked up into little things I forget myself on here (just working my fingers to the bone)! Friday after school I jumped on this little invention seldom used in America known as the train. It took me to Alkmaar, a mid-sized city not too far from the Atlantic to spend some time with my good friend Francesco (Italia que BELLO!). It was a great time. Right when I arrived at his house we started cooking! Raphael (Venezuela) and I were his assistants in the kitchen, which was no laughing matter ("I love cook because in kitchen is like orchestra and I am conductor"). So we made Carbonada and fried eggplant (try not to pee yourselves readers, I actually enjoyed it) and well, it was just dandy. Then Rafael said doei doei and Francesco and I took a walk around Alkmaar, a nice, old, pretty city. Not much was open and I don't think there was much initiative on either side to party or anything of the like so we just returned to his house. We played some games and relaxed and by 12 I was out like a light.

Yesterday, Saturday, we went back into Alkmaar (after a relaxing morning) with Andria (Indonesia) to do some shopping and general exploration. We had lunch on the windy streets in the city and just enjoyed ourselves. Around 4:45 Francesco and I hopped a train going towards Eindhoven except he got out in Amsterdam to get to a far away town to visit another Italian here. I biked home and like a lame-o got in bed and just chilled. Today has been relatively quiet, except there was a kite festival right by the house so I walked over there to check it out and takes a few pictures (returned with camera after most of the kites were down). So now I'm just still in the process of relaxing before school. I'll include some pictures from today. Until later - oh and don't forget, what should I write in here next?

Shake It Like You Mean It

2009-09-27T17:30:00.000+02:00

Alas! A breakthrough! A real weekend! So where did we leave off in my life...oh yeah - swine flu. Ok so like uh..a couple other things here and there, I exaggerated a little, it wasn't swine09. I think I can safely say I'm happy about that. It's not like back in April when you could get school closed for a week with this slugger so it's not worth my time anymore. Either way, I stayed at home until Thursday, making it a one day week because we had contactdag on Friday (more on that in a sec). I really just relaxed, not like I needed it or anything, but I figured it was time to go back to school when everything was fine except for a little throat tickle, strangely enough I still have it kinda. I think I watched some quality 90s movies, read my book (I'm currently dual-booking it. Choosing depending on my mood), and uh...spent like 18 hours a day in bed? 18 might be a little low.

OK enough rambling about being sick, it's not different or anything just because I'm in a different country (although my host parents were really great about it all. You hear that it's some of the hardest times when you get sick, but I didn't feel that bad. I know my friends are all having amazing times at college and well, my family is just living, they can't spend every waking minute thinking of me. This kinda forces me into a mode where I am very driven to have a successful year.).

So after I had my ONE day of class this week we had this so called day of contact. We all met up at this bowling alley and these girls from my class offered to bike with me since well, I semi know stuff but let's not push it and pretend I can find a random bowling alley in Veldhoven. Anyways, I thought that was pretty nice of them. Once we were there we bowled and let's face it, I reach a wall so to speak in further description here becasue bowling is exactly the same. Same to the point that I sucked just as bad or worse here. I suppose that is not the point of the day of contact though so no stress. Apres that we went and got some pizza. I must admit, it was good, and rather large to boot. But the real boot so to speak is that we didn't have to pay! The school paid for it. Now that is the correct way to make contacts, if you will. Post-pizza the events were over for a period and I made my way back home. I was sleepy so I slept (profound, huh?).

After typical evening eating rituals I got a call from a kid in my class, Dustin, who invited me to hang out with him and some of his friends before the dance. We went to hang out in the park near the school and chilled. Then we transplanted ourselves a little and met up with some other kids in our class, namely David, Caspar, and Kelvin. It was really nice seeing people outside of class due to the fact I don't think I can give off the right vibe when we're just sitting in school, in Dutch. Then off to the school party! It was uh, kinda like a Shaker dance? No haha it was not. It was all techno-y music and a lot of the kids were dancing but uh, a lot weren't - including myself. We just walked around a little and chilled in the courtyard (side note - they can drink beer at their school party! but only four per person...wouldn't wanna get too rowdy...). When it was over around 12:30 we went into town which was some fun. To reiterate, JESUS bless the fact that know people know me outside of school. Because, let's face it, school is not a good reflection all the time of a person, especially me. So this was a jovial time. Came back home around 3:30...my alarm went off at 7 to get ready to go to Amsterdam with AFS. Needless to say, Saturday was rough.

Like I said, woke up at 7 on Saturday and got myself together enough to grab a bus into Eindhoven (yeah don't even kid, I was NOT going to bike). There I met Ivy and we hopped on a train to Amsterdam (simple, no?), except part of the train didn't work so we had to switch cars and it was jam packed! Then we had to get off at Utrecht (it was supposed to be a direct) and change trains. We got to sit a little and then showed up 45 mins late to the AFS group, but luckily we weren't last so play it off. Then we went on our walking tour of Amsterdam! slightly chaotic. We went to the red light district and the coffeeshops and stuff...it was a little much to be honest, I didn't expect to be all like that.

I'll paint the scene: narrow, i mean NARROW, alley way. You got prostitutes pressed up again their doors on either side of you. Next thing you know there's a hooker yelling out her door because someone took a picture (big no no) and she's gettin all buckwild like "Children get out of here. Go back to your play gardens. F- you!" Ok then some genius from our group proceeds to cuss back at the hooker. Well let me tell you, that did not make Ms. Fish-Net-Body-Suit pleased. She started spraying a water bottle everywhere like the Pope of the Red Light District! Another thing, hookers roll deep. The second Senorita Fish Net got out that bottle her neighbor ran inside and grabbed like a giant stick that had something metal on it and started waving it in everyone's faces and yelling! As you can tell, Amsterdam 101 was a little overwhelming.

Aside from that I found the city a little cramped and dirty. I understand it is very old and it does have it's beautiful parts but it was not as I had expected. The drugs and sex are very rampant, something I suppose I thought was more contained. Nonetheless there were very nice parts of the city that I liked a lot. After the tour ended at 4 we mosied around for a couple hours then Ivy and I caught a train back to Eindhoven at 9.

We thought we were going to go to bed. Sleep. Rest. Watch a movie. Except we missed our bus...so I suggested we might as well go into town and see what's going on. Well we ended up meeting some of the people I was with Friday night and it turned into quite a fun(ny) evening.

All in all I would say this was an extremely successful weekend for me and I am beyond pleased with things right now. Let's see how they all roll out in the next couple weeks (I don't have much planned in the next couple weeks until Berlin. Might go to Francesco's (Italy) house in Alkmaar next Friday and I had plans to revisit Amsterdam with kids from AFS-Belgium but I don't know how I feel about it after seeing it yesterday).

Keeping Things Updated

2009-09-21T21:32:00.003+02:00

I was going to wait a while to post but there really is no better time than now because I am sick as a dog! So allow me to retell the events of my weekend and Monday so we can all better understand my situation. I must have the swine flu, I feel completely terrible. This is being written post crashing from Efteling and I need to figure out how to sleep through the night! Anyways, on to the chronology of it all!

First I would like to address the negativity of my last blog. I understand it was very down in the dumps and all but you must bare with me. If I am to update this blog as much as people are telling me to then there are going to be some crumby moments! I can't just gloss over it like a person that writes every month and can just exhibit the highlights. I am being real here, sometimes slightly exaggerated real but nonetheless I'm trying. If you would like a happier blog I am 100% available to direct you to one with more smiley emoticons. There will be happy posts (i.e. I have very nice things to write today so cool your jets!).

Friday evening my good friend Ivy showed up in Waalre, we hung out and got our chat on for a little while then decided it was time to go out! We biked into Eindhoven and went to the Stratumseind (which is the longest street of bars in all Europe!). We had fun and were very responsible. Yes. It's true. We biked home and went to bed and everything. All went off without a hitch. The next day we went back into town with Maria (Brasil), it was fun.

Sunday not much occurred except, oh nevermind I did stuff Sunday what am I talking about. Ok so in the early afternoon we went to this rock concert in Waalre. I was surprised they found a place to fit all this stuff in this tiny town! I was impressed. It was really cool though. Although the music was a little hard for me, it was nice still to do something and the kids enjoyed it. They stayed a little longer than me because there were a lot of activities for children. In the evening I took a bike ride with Erik, we did the lichtsjerout (light route) in Eindhoven. A good 40 some km are decked out with street lights kinda like Christmas but here it's to commemorate the freeing of the Netherlands at the end of WWII. We got like 26 km but Erik is a speed demon on those bikes! Jesus. But it was nice...quite tiring though.

Ok now comes the BIG story. Efteling and my current state! I woke up this morning and was like, "wow, my throat really hurts." But I persevered, I'm that kind of person. We drove the hour to Efteling and it was so cool! I'm going to put pictures on Facebook although I am not in any and it's just the attractions but whatever it was cool. Too bad about an hour or two in I started dying! Headache, sore throat, chills, achy, the whole SHEBANG! It was veritably horrible. I couldn't even go on many rides eventually because I felt so sick - and I do like rides! My favorite part is there were like no lines and it was very different from an American amusement park because when I say it was family oriented, I mean it. Tons of kids and families and very sparce in terms of the obnoxious people that often show up at places like Cedar Point. So we got to about lunch time and we ate. Pofertjes. They are these little fried dough things that are like pancakes and you put syrup or whatever have you on them. I saw them on an add when I went to the Hague and let me tell you, one had never before touched my lips but they were already my favorite food. So we ate those (god like), which there were not enough of may I add.

After lunch my condition worsened. Not much exciting happened because I was like a walking zombie (I still feel like this by the way). Ok here comes the piece de resistance (ignore my lack of accents, Frenchies). After I could do no more than sit on a bench while they went on rides (I was ok with this, didn't want to spoil their fun). So then, Birgit had been bugging me whether or not I needed a wheelchair, I thought this would be rather silly and turned her down numerous times, until I finally said yes! This is the let me tell you of let me tell yous...It was bliss! I got pushed around a park in a wheelchair! I have pictures and everything, it was too good to pass up. The best part was I didn't even get any dirty looks from people! I was just another kid in a wheelchair. I did feel a little bad because there were loads of people in wheelchairs and they were all handicapped or old...whereas I was just uhm...not. They finished up the park while I sat and people watched in my new throne, some people who had seen me earlier in the day (I never forget a face!) did give me the up down but who cares I was having the time of my life (or at least the timiest of my life I could while feeling the way I did)! It was truly an excellent experience. It's unfortunate I didn't get to truly experience Efteling but I'm sure if I want there will be other opportunities...

Now here is where I post the picture of my favorite part of uh...my life:

Before I end this I would like to add one thing. I am very happy with how things are going in the Netherlands as of now. I have my down days, some of which I express on here. But the truth is I really enjoy my family, town, and school. The adjustment is just very difficult and for me involves venting ocassionally. I just do not want people concerned with my state here, like I said, I really care about my family and especially now as I feel completely down and out sick they are being enormously helpful. I hope everyone can understand this roller coaster of emotions and hang in there with me for good times to keep coming (like this upcoming weekend! I better be healthy).

Don't Ask Why These Two Posts Are So Close Together - I Felt Like Writing

2009-09-17T09:56:00.001+02:00

And why shouldn't I be able to write when I want to? I'm not intimidated by the people who never update their blogs because to quote Bomani "D'Mite" Armah (Read A Book) "I'm tryna go platinum." Anyways, the past couple days have been sorta rough on me. It's really taking it's toll that I don't have many friends here in school. It's just supremely awkward and I talk when I have the chance but let's be honest - it's WAY more difficult to suggest to walk up to people than it is to do it. Especially these Dutchies! Jesus Christ Almighty it's like a scene from (insert scene of choice where teenagers stand in circles speaking in tongue and one kid is left out not understanding diddly).

Of course the AFSers are now together in full force and we have each other but it only goes so far. I want a friend I've made on my own, not someone my host mom set up for me, and not one that AFS handed me by default. Someone who likes me and I like them. I think a lot of this was awakened by the fact that the weekend is coming up and I won't be doing much...Ivy and I are considering doing something but that's about the extent of it. My host parents want me to go to some rock concert in Waalre on Sunday (gag. ok sorry) but then we're supposed to go to Efteling on Monday! Which is good because a) I hear it's very cool and b) I get to miss gym (yes, I feel like a freshman in high school)!

Life is becoming more uniform though as the one month mark approaches, this is very weird to me. Just around this time I would be leaving Panama, which makes me think how little time I spent there because I barely have my head wrapped around the Dutch yet! Granted, these Dutch are a lot trickier than they look...I'm quite serious about this too. You think you've got them figured out and then you're like "Why am I in this tiny little country in Western Europe that has it's own language, its inhabitants ride bikes everywhere, and yet no on ever seems to notice it (especially how weird it is)!"

Kids in school are interesting but I don't like how I don't have anyone to share my opinions with. I suppose it really takes time to make friends and with the Dutch you should multiply whatever time frame you Americans just had in your heads and multiply it by 3 because they straight up exclusive. I try very hard to show my fun time, smiling a lot and stuff, and then hold in all my wit and sardonics until I can write in this bad boy! I'm contemplating trying to make friends by talking about the Kanye-Swift ordeal (it hasn't made it overseas yet, this is my chance), but once you bring Obama into it (he's right by the way) it's all downhill and we have to talk about politics (luckily the one time I was frank and told them I didn't care about politics they seemed to find that normal, is that because I'm a teenager or American?)!

Some final random thoughts. I did the wash yesterday and my underarmour shorts got tore up like no other! I request back up athletic shorts from across the pond along with white t shirts and my moccasins and anything else I need that I can't think of. Dutch is a very difficult language. I have come to terms with that. I love everyone that is all "hoe gaat het" and "la dee la" with their Dutch and I'm like ok I know that but you don't see me prancing around speaking this ugly language, do you (yes, it's true, some days I grow very bitter with the Dutch language. I'm known to have said a couple times "It makes me pissed off when I wake up and people are speaking Dutch around me." oops)? I suppose I am growing very impatient though for friends and language and should probably stick it out a little longer before the Bitch'n'Moan Express takes me to town.

This was cathartic. Thank you.

I've Been Busy (About Time)!

2009-09-14T10:05:00.003+02:00

Well, this weekend was orientation weekend for AFS Netherlands and the week prior was my first kinda full week of school. First I guess I'll start by giving a run down of the first impressions I have of all my classes...let's see here...

French: The first thing right off the bat that is different for me is that the class is all in Dutch! Maybe that isn't surprising to some people reading this but I am accustomed to a French class where I've been speaking French in class for like two years now (And I can really tell it paid off, thanks Madame!). I do like it though because it's one class I don't have to be clueless in besides English but I mean everyone expects me to know English, with French I think it was a nice surprise. The teacher is really funny and animated and yeah it's just fun. This is like the one class I have books for. Oh well.

Dutch: So I figure for about 3 - 4 months this class will be useless. I sit there and he rambles on in Dutch and they've already scheduled a presentation of sorts which I shall take no part in (I'm ok with it). We had to write letters about myself so the teacher could get to know us and said I could write mine in English because the point is to get to know the student and my expression is limited in Dutch (makes sense).

History: My history teacher is pregnant. I know that's like, not an academic point or anything but I think it's interesting. She's a very nice lady and the history that we're studying is like Industrial Rev stuff and eventually we'll progress like through the 1800s and stuff to present time. Woo. Most teachers don't understand at all why I'm here, I think my history teacher falls somewhere in between. She was really welcoming and nice but Friday after class she approached me and apologized for not being able to speak more English in class. I had to inform her that was not the point and I'm content sitting and translating some of the words on the notes here and there but besides that not doing much. I asked for it.

Social Subjects (?): I don't really know what this class is called and it's too hard in Dutch to understand so I just call it Social Studies. It's like a government/politics class so I hope when I learn Dutch it will be pretty interesting. The teacher is also really nice and is always cracking jokes. The one thing he did inform me though was that "There should be a Supreme Court in the Hague to try Bush for what he's done." All you can really do is laugh and say you understand. Not trying to go there sir. Once again, I share my mentor's books in this class and pretend to understand what's happening. Sometimes he asks me about American Government and I feel useful.

Geographie: I haven't been to this class. But I won't finish this entry before I leave for school in ten minutes and have to go to that class so I'll write about it later!

English: I feel a little bad because the English teacher doesn't have a clue what to do with me (would you?). I've only had one lesson but she talked to me for a little bit and the kids did some reading and stuff. I felt bad a couple times because I had a huge smile on my face the entire class and had the church giggles when they couldn't pronounce some English words. My b.

Gym: Not too different than American gym really. We played soccer - I straight sucked, shake it off. Then I learned how to shotput in Dutch (that's right, what did you do today?). It was pretty uneventful although I don't love it. Gosh how universal gym can be.

So those are all my classes. Pretty nice, huh? Ok so now onto the weekend and other practical things about living in the Netherlands:

After school on Friday I got picked up by Catherine (Can) and then we got Chok (Thai) and went to the train station to meet Ivy (NZL) (do you like these nationalities in parenthesis? we'll go with it for now). We took a winding mess of trains and buses and finally arrived at a typical AFS location (hostel/camp style place with lots of outdoor room). Meeting the other kids was stupendous and I'm pretty syked to travel with them to Berlin in a little over a month (And Amsterdam in two weeks!!). There were typical AFS activites and Dutch lessons, we got to talk about the cultural differences we've seen here thus far (I got my piece in about how I don't like Dutch toilets).

Of course there were amazing kids from around the world and I throughly enjoyed my weekend. I learned some valuable lessons though. First one, during a quiz about Dutch culture they asked if we knew their queen (I did, it's Beatrix), after which I tactlessly asked if we could call her Trixie. Didn't go over too well. Luckily it only reached two Dutch ears (four? two pair? whatever.) and I will never say it again, sorry. I also learned that I can eat bread with chocolate sprinkles for days and it will not fill me up. I didn't really take any pictures because I knew everyone else would take them - I was right.

So now I mostly just go on with my week. This Friday is contactdag (contact day) for our class. Meaning we do something to get our bond on and then at night there's a party in the school. The weekend after is Amsterdam for Saturday with AFS and then I honker down until Berlin which will be buckwild.

Hello Old Friend

2009-09-07T13:41:00.002+02:00

Old friend, you ask? School. Because I just had my "first day" of Dutch school! I put first day in quotes because the legitimacy of the use of the word day to describe what just happened can be very much debated (seeing as it lasted a whopping 90 mins). Ok SO - I got there early, got my roster (I'll post it below), got another tour, talked logistics, then went to my "mentor" class or something like that, I feel like it's homeroom or study hall or a like activity. I was like the not first there which is a good thing I guess? I met some people...kinda. Then she started talking to the class. It went on blahblahblah DutchDutchDutch but oh believe me it doesn't matter what language it is you know when the teacher is talking about YOU (teacher hand motions in your directions, you start recognizing more of the words, all eyes on you, cold sweat).

They dance around the subject of my buddy, or person who's going to help me in some of my classes (It seems I'm not exactly a hot commodity because I saw no hands or competitive jumping up and down to assist me with my LIFE which does, in fact, need assisting in it's current state). So some girl named Lydia offered herself up to the post and is now veritably STUCK with me (ok I'm exaggerating I don't even see her in class again until Wednesday). After class I talked to her and her friend a little bit, she admitted English wasn't her forte (The positives of this? I see far and few. Although I'm sure AFS would just be giddy). I left class and uhm...left the school?

You think I'm done talking about my first day - right? WRONG. So then I leave the school and go to the bike racks (not slightly comparable to their American cousins - these are like bike lots, on steroids), I unlock my bike and try to get out of the sea of metal. Turn right - no way out. Turn left - a group of kids standing right where I need to get out. So I walk over there and don't really know what to say (I'm counting on someone noticing me and moving before I have to open my mouth - yeah didn't work like that), I mutter something to make my presence known and they move...say a bunch of stuff in Dutch, repeat it ("DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?!"), and then I proceed to speak to the natives in tongue - "Ik ben Amerikans." Well, let me tell you, that was QUITE the crowd pleaser! The teenagers who were just giving each other startled and dirty looks over the strange kid who appeared mute were overjoyed and dove right in with some English and "how awesome - I'd love to go to America," (I'm not gonna lie, I was so taken aback I dropped my bike - but don't worry, they told me "oh fuck it - it's fine"). They carry on about how I must've only come for the weed and that I need to come to their parties and stuff. So I play along with it then call it a day and bike home.

CRAZY, HUH!?

Yeah I know not really.

But here's my schedule which I promised:

Monday
Gym 11:20- 1
English 1:30 - 2:20
Geography 2:20-3:10

Tuesday
French 11:20-1 (RIGHT!?)

Wednesday (I call it day from Hell)
Dutch 8:30-9:20
History 9:20- 10:10
Social Sciences 12:10-1
Geography 2:20-3:10

Thursday
Dutch 11:20-12:10
English 2:20-3:10
French 3:10- 4

Friday
History 9:20-11
Social Sciences 11:20-12:10
Dutch 12:10-1

I don't really have much room to complain though. It's pretty solid if you ask me. And by solid I just mean awesome because it's completely empty so solidity has nothing to do with this (you should see the actual schedule I have - kids look at it and go..."where are your classes?" I say, "So here's the thing...I don't know DUTCH.").

Finally, I also have a video/interview/nonsensical thing that me and Crystal recorded this weekend (This post was so consumed with school that I didn't get to talk about my weekend!) talking about the Netherlands. Maybe I'll post it soon? My voice is super loud in it and the video/audio is delayed but nevertheless it's interesting. Maybe?

Lists...and a Short Update.

2009-09-02T09:39:00.004+02:00

So I like to think that I have readers and doing something like not posting since Saturday would make them angry - yeah I'm a little delusional.

Ok...so I wanted to think of something interesting to do this entry on instead of just rambling about my life. How about lists?! Everyone loves a good list.

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT THE NETHERLANDS:

1) Sweet food! Too bad we have NONE in our house. Except for the chocoladevlokken - which are SO good. These little sprinkles you put on your bread for breakfast with butter...except my host family is not down with the sprinkles so we use these chocolate FLAKES! Delicious way to wake up.

2) Temperature. I am not such a fan of hot weather in America. Once it starts weighing down on me in July I'm ready for fall. I also have an issue with the snow. Leaving my conflicted soul nowhere to go - correct? Wrong! There's the Netherlands! Here it barely snows and never gets super super hot. My kind of weather. Lately it's been pretty chilly (I found out that we're about as far north as Northern Canada (right!?)).

3) I guess this goes with sweet food but I love Diksap. I know it's called syrup or whatever syrup is in Dutch but our bottles say Diksap and I'm 12 years old and think it's hilarious. Either way, Diksap or syrup...is a fruit flavored syrup that you pour in the bottom of your cups and then put in normal water, mineraalwater, or whatever, and it makes it delicious! I guess it's similar to grenadine but they have more flavors. Like appel-zwarte bes (apple blackberry).

4) The biking. Although I am sometimes bitter that we have to bike places (mind you I'm writing this BEFORE I start biking 5 miles to school everyday), I think in general I really enjoy it! My bike is a little bootleg but that's what you get for €75. But then Lord knows you need a €30 BIKE LOCK (they're crazy) plus a €9 kick stand because yours doesn't work. I'll make sure to get my money back at the end of all this. My host mom says I'm getting "fit" and it's not something you can tell yourself. Dank je wel!

5) I wanted to make it an even five of things I like here. But let's face it. I've been here less than two weeks and I've been having a rough time anyway - I'm lucky I squeezed out four!

On to my life: Learning Dutch has moved to the forefront of my home life here in the Netherlands. Birgit and Erik pound me with words nonstop and sometimes it just makes me shut down because I just want to eat my dinner without being quizzed on Dutch silverware names! But sometimes it's manageable. I just can't wait to get to school and have something to do here. These past two weeks have been ridiculous. What did AFS think I'd be doing? Silly silly silly.

There isn't much else to report. Like, take yesterday, for example - I left the house for about 45 minutes total because we biked to the flour mill (not gonna lie, pretty cool) to get flour. It was actually a water mill and stuff! Too bad it was pouring out. The bright side of that, you ask? I got to wear the rain jacket I brought! Goed! Then we went home and I chilled with Into The Wild (something I'm quite frightened will end before schools gets ahold of me. Without a book what am I to do?!).

Today I want to run errands in Veldhoven or Eindhoven or something. I'm supposed to be calling this kid my host parents want me to hang out with so we'll see if that can be made to happen. Here's my list of stuff I need: PILLOWS (here I'm sleeping on like a flat couch pillow and some beanbag-ish thing, not so comfortable), Books (yeah like I said, I need some new ones, and I really doubt my parents want to furnish a trip for like three or four more of my books at home to take a trip to Europe), and a phone card (no money to text or call here in the land of Nether). So homeboy here will serve a dual purpose: companionship and a guide to my domestic needs (how am I supposed to know where to find a pillow?).

And finally, we got word yesterday officially about our trip to BERLIN (gaaaaah)! It will be Oct 22-26 and should be a bucket load of fun! It's only €200 which, for the Americans, shouldn't be that big a deal. Now say...you come from Italy, I guess it may not be worth it (that's like us putting up a stink for a trip to like...Chicago, cool, but not always necessary). I suppose that's good though! The Italians comprise 15 of the 70 kids here right now! That's a lot! We're the next with 10 Americans, and then something ridiculous like the Wallonians (French Belgians)...That's like..."Oh hey guys, yeah I'm going away for a year, I'm doing this thing called foreign exchange in Western Pennsylvania."

crappy quality. I know. But it's the flour mill!

Things Are Looking Up!

2009-08-29T16:39:00.002+02:00

Yes! It's true! I am in a much better place right now. So it's Saturday, the weekend. Restful? Doubtful. I biked like 20+ miles today! That's some Lance Armstrong shit. So my host mother and I biked to Belgium today which was wonderful. We went to this monastery which kinda straddles the border and criss crosses here and there. We pulled our bikes in and parked near the cafe in the monastery (because how else are monks going to make money? just wait). Then my host mother informs me there is a BEER supermarket attached to the monastery. Yes, my friends, it's true. The monks brew beer in their spare time. They are not saying the rosary or whatever else the Catholics try and make a front with. They are playing PONG.

Ok. Slight embellishment.

It was really cool though, I'm not going to lie. There were all these different beer classes of the different Belgian beers and sometimes my host dad makes runs down here when they're feeling some Belgian holy alcohol. With the children ocassionally (they told a funny little anecdote where they went all they way down there and Erik is paying for it and Dennis just goes "But Dad, that's ALCOHOL!" laughlaughlaugh). We biked into the closest Belgian village and it started to pour so we took refuge under the entrance to a restaurant. We went a little further and I decided Belgium was boring so we turned back. Saw some REALLY pretty Dutch scenary (Check Facebook if you're my friend - if you're not, I guess you can creep and add me).

Besides that, yesterday I got to talking with my host parents for a while about traveling and such (I suppose I'll try and keep it a little hush hush because I know AFS disapproves of such talk - but I want to travel a ton here). As a VWO5 (my track in school) there will be a trip this year! I get to choose between Rome, Oxford/Cambridge, Barcelona, Paris, and Berlin! I already think I know which I'll choose but who knows, if they're on different dates maybe I'll meander my way into more than one. I'm really excited for the AFS trip in October to Berlin and even the orientation in two weeks! Fellow AFSers are always just really helpful in exchange and I can verify that on many levels. With my host parents we've talked about travel around Belgium, Germany, and hopefully I can see some people like Julia and Lauren in Paris.

Yesterday I also got to hang out with a fellow AFSer, Catherina van Canada. She was a nice girl of 15 who is also here for the year and is relatively close by. So I creeped and called her up and asked if she wanted to hang out. We sat at her house and talked for a little then wandered around Valkenswaard, the town she lives in just south of me.

I don't anticipate anything exciting happening in the next week really...My host parents have friends coming in next Saturday who they said love art so we may be going to some museums in Eindhoven. Besides that...just waiting till school. Oh yeah, and we're gonna go talk to the people at Van Maerlant this week to see if they don't mind me coming there this year (so what if I chose the farther, bigger school? It looked the nicest on the outside - and that's what really counts, right?)

"My Infinity Summer"

2009-08-27T10:53:00.003+02:00

This has been the summer that's lasted forever. Let's put it into perspective. I stopped classes at Shaker Heights High School on May 7th, after which the normal senior year events followed (i.e. lawn day and senior project). I start school in a week in a half here in the Netherlands. That's 4 MONTHS. To the T. Jesus. Next summer will be a little less than half this summer. Early July to late August. But that's too far away to think about right now.

Today we're supposed to be finding me a bike - finally. I'm still bored through my skull here, although my trip to Zoetermeer was superb and a 24 hour highlight of what has officially been about a week away from home (I put the pictures on Facebook, it's much faster than Blogger). I'm having a tough time though, really. Like I said before, I can talk to my host parents until I'm blue in the face and bike until my legs ache but besides that there isn't much to do!

I think that's the hardest part. I haven't even reached the half way point in my Dutch summer vacation and I already just ache for America because of the nonstop going which I had there. I understand all my friends are doing their own things at college so I think that's why I'm not that torn up about not seeing them, I wouldn't be seeing them anyhow. Here's what I miss: My parents and My American world. I always had something to do, here I have nothing (I'm destroying the 09 Tulane summer reading. purpose you ask? none)!

I asked my host mom a while ago what's kinda the norm in terms of Dutch kids hanging out (just walk over? or what?), because I thought the neighbors she took me to meet were pretty nice. She told me she really didn't have a clue and that most AFSers just wait until school starts (ok but that's TWO WEEKS AWAY) and that's probably my best bet. I'm very interested though in how frank they are with their words. When I got home from Zoetermeer yesterday the kitchen was pretty empty and she was asking me what kind of vegetables I liked (hmmm...). I had to inform her that that list was scarce to non existent. She replied "Well if there had been a check for doesn't eat vegetables on the AFS application, well, you wouldn't be in this house!! laugh laugh laugh.

Either way. Zoetermeer was tons of fun! We traveled into the Hague which was a town I was really hoping to be placed near, and it lived up to all my expectations! I loved that it was an old city right on the ocean. I don't feel like many cities in America are like that (if you think of one, keep it to yourself), they all are touristy and sensationalized! We walked on the pier and had something to drink nearby, it was loads of fun.

Once again between the beginning of the post and the end of the post something has changed: My host dad informed me there will be no bike buying today, which kinda erks me a little bit. They're looking on the equivalent kinda of eBay and they can't find anything right and refuse to go to the store and look at bikes. So I remain immobile.

A Few Days In

2009-08-24T12:17:00.002+02:00

So I've been here a couple days and I'm still learning to settle. It's summer time for a while still (2 weeks, but when you're not doing much it feels like a while). I wanted to post a couple pictures here and there of some things I've been up to.

I'm really excited though because tomorrow I'm taking a train to Utrecht then Crystal is picking me up to hang out in Zoetemeer for the day! It's been pretty lonely around here seeing that the kids are young/only speak Dutch (I'm slowly but surely trying) and well, I can only talk to my host parents so much. It'll be nice to see a familiar face and should help to break up the monotony of summer (ridiculous thing to say, isn't it?).

My birthday went by without much excitement...I got to choose a cake, which I have to say was delicious. But that was about the extent of it. We ate tacos for dinner and I called it a night pretty early on.

At this point I'd say I'm adjusting fairly well to the time difference but I feel like I slept like a log yesterday! I had a lot of dreams though. One where I yelled at some people in Chipotle because of a bad burrito. Oh well.

ANYWAYS, yesterday we went to the...uhm, Papagooienpark in Veldhoven. That would be the Parrot Park. It was funny at first, thankfully they were caged up, my host mother was giving me the impression that they were flying around all free and whatnosh and kids just played on playgrounds beneath swooping tropical animals. Not the case. We fed them nuts which the children slightly begrudgingly shared with me. It was kinda gross though with the plethora of feathers and pooping birds; it was - personally, a bit much.

I've been taking walks/bike rides with my host mom to explore the area. She's nice to talk to and whatnot, just to get out of the house/break the togetherness. It's typically the latter part of the evening after the kids go to bed and usually puts at just the right level of exhaustion to retire for the day.

Today we went to the City Council of Waalre to get me registered - it wasn't interesting or anything I just thought I'd include it.

I guess I'll go study Dutch now.

Ok nevermind I'm not going to upload pictures it's taking forever.

First day - Birthday

2009-08-22T11:01:00.002+02:00

Hoi all,

So it's about 11 am in the Netherlands on my first day otherwise known as my 18th birthday! All the travel here went rather smoothly, the flights seemed short and checking luggage went off without a hitch. Upon arrival at Schipol Airport in Amsterdam we waited for our luggage and passed through...well, nothing. There didn't seem to be any customs when you passed through the sign that said customs, only a mob of eager AFS people to greet us. I finally found the sign that said "Welkom Patrick" and made my way over to Birgit (my host mom). We hugged and an AFS volunteer approached me and handed me a bag with my Dutch course in it and informed me we'd have our orientation in 3 weeks. I can't wait to see the other kids again and meet the ones from all over the world (I'm also impatient to meet Dutch kids my age but as far as I know there are 'neighbor boys' who I will be set up with).

Typical of my life meeting host families, I was the first to leave. No emotional goodbyes on the part of us ten Americans, seeing that we were swallowed by our Dutch families. It took 2 hours to get to Waalre, during which Birgit and I made good conversation. She is a nice woman with good English. Yesterday when I got here we used mostly (all) English to communicate because Oma (grandma...in German) was in town and she only speaks German, the kids speak German and Dutch but no English, I speak English - no German and (let's be real) no Dutch. Luckily Birgit and Erik speak German, Dutch and English so there was a slight translation game up until about an hour ago when Oma headed home to Deutschland.

I have learned a few things already about life here in the Netherlands. Let me outline a few: There is no such thing as 'I don't care,' make a decision and stick with it. I have already many times been told upon saying I don't mind/I don't care that "well, that doesn't quite work." Ok, fine, I'll decide. Another thing, biking 6 km into Eindhoven for school is child's play (Erik's hobby is making bike maps with GPS, he claims biking 25-30 km away (mind you there and back making it around 60) is just enough for him and any further is too far, right). My bed was comfortable though a little hard.

OH and JESUS IT'S COLD HERE. Sorry, I just remembered that that is a large portion of my shock here, IT'S FREEZING. I am wearing a sweatshirt and could easily wear pants. Ridiculous. I didn't think I'd miss the heat but I really do. I just unpacked and I realized just how much I brought - alot. But that's quite alright with me. I just gave them their gifts from Shaker/Cleveland and they seemed to appreciate them, although the children might be slightly abusing the harmonicas. Dennis is fun and so is Sonja but I really need to get cracking on Dutch to get on with them. Dennis has decided that today he will not take his ritalin so we'll see how that all unfolds!

I miss everyone bunches but I suppose thus is life. I start school in two weeks (I know, it's going to be a long haul until that point), after which things will hopefully start rolling along at a nice pace. I guess I'll spend some time today with AFS NL's Dutch program and Birgit said she'd take me to the supermarket for some stuff.

Groetjes,

Patrick

"I've always found my way somehow - taking the long way around"

2009-08-18T20:08:00.000+02:00

Today is my last day in Shaker. The Shaker I have grown to love and consider my hometown. I would not have guessed five years ago the immeasurable sorrow I feel leaving this world I have made behind. While there is such sadness in leaving, I look ahead and see this adventure, my adventure - waiting to be taken advantage of! I love my friends in Shaker more than anything and I wish them the best of luck in all their future endeavors.

In other news, the suitcases are packed, they've been weighed at UPS (cutting it close), the goodbyes are beginning to be said, all that I have left to do is pack up my toothbrush (and such) as well as the residence permit paperwork. I will depart for JFK at 1:10 pm tomorrow to sit through an orientation I've already braved, I will then fly to Zurich and arrive in Europe around noon Friday. By 2:30 pm I will be in Schipol Airport, Amsterdam, The Netherlands. I'm ready to meet the Albertsmeiers and get down to life in Waalre but I understand how much I will miss Shaker, my friends, and especially my family.

So cheers - to friends, to family, and to adventure.

See you in the Netherlands.

Gezin - Finally

2009-08-13T20:23:00.000+02:00

I finally got a host (welcome...i guess) family! It's nice to rest assured for the next six days that I know where I'll be for the first two months of my exchange. I'll be living with the Albertmeiers, which consists of Birgit & Erik, and their children Dennis (9) and Sonja (7). They live in Waalre, a small town of 16,000 which reminds me a lot of Shaker. The town is very close to Eindhoven, a city of 200,000, easing my mind a little bit. My host mother seems to be some kind of Microsoft Office expert, which means I doubt it will be hard to keep up with people during the trip! They seem very nice from the minimal corrspondence I've had with them in the past 24 hours and they're happy to have me! My placement with them depends on how well the children adjust to my presence at the house - if all goes well, I stay! If not, I move to another family in Waalre. Below I've added a picture of my house! The small window on top is my room, another year on the third floor - score.

Well, now I pack and get ready! Less than a week. Here goes nothing.

Still no Family...

2009-08-10T22:15:00.000+02:00

9 days from departure. Still no family. Trying to be patient, it's not working so well! I've been shopping a little and stuff and just preparing to say goodbye to everyone. AFS Netherlands says it's working to get everyone a family by the time we get there. I'll keep you posted, don't fret.

Preparation - or lack thereof

2009-04-19T17:02:00.000+02:00

Hey everyone-
I'm Patrick Matthews and I have decided to spend a year abroad in the Netherlands with AFS instead of going to college right away so I will be trying to keep this updated so people can see what's goin down in Holland. I will be deferring my matriculation to Tulane University in New Orleans to have a blast - I mean learn - in the Netherlands.
When I first started of taking a gap year the first people I obviously turned to were the AFS people I know and love. I myself am a returnee from the 2008 Summer Homestay to Panama! I had a really great time and wouldn't trust any other group with planning my year abroad.
Here's to hoping everything goes swimmingly!