And why shouldn't I be able to write when I want to? I'm not intimidated by the people who never update their blogs because to quote Bomani "D'Mite" Armah (Read A Book) "I'm tryna go platinum." Anyways, the past couple days have been sorta rough on me. It's really taking it's toll that I don't have many friends here in school. It's just supremely awkward and I talk when I have the chance but let's be honest - it's WAY more difficult to suggest to walk up to people than it is to do it. Especially these Dutchies! Jesus Christ Almighty it's like a scene from (insert scene of choice where teenagers stand in circles speaking in tongue and one kid is left out not understanding diddly).
Of course the AFSers are now together in full force and we have each other but it only goes so far. I want a friend I've made on my own, not someone my host mom set up for me, and not one that AFS handed me by default. Someone who likes me and I like them. I think a lot of this was awakened by the fact that the weekend is coming up and I won't be doing much...Ivy and I are considering doing something but that's about the extent of it. My host parents want me to go to some rock concert in Waalre on Sunday (gag. ok sorry) but then we're supposed to go to Efteling on Monday! Which is good because a) I hear it's very cool and b) I get to miss gym (yes, I feel like a freshman in high school)!
Life is becoming more uniform though as the one month mark approaches, this is very weird to me. Just around this time I would be leaving Panama, which makes me think how little time I spent there because I barely have my head wrapped around the Dutch yet! Granted, these Dutch are a lot trickier than they look...I'm quite serious about this too. You think you've got them figured out and then you're like "Why am I in this tiny little country in Western Europe that has it's own language, its inhabitants ride bikes everywhere, and yet no on ever seems to notice it (especially how weird it is)!"
Kids in school are interesting but I don't like how I don't have anyone to share my opinions with. I suppose it really takes time to make friends and with the Dutch you should multiply whatever time frame you Americans just had in your heads and multiply it by 3 because they straight up exclusive. I try very hard to show my fun time, smiling a lot and stuff, and then hold in all my wit and sardonics until I can write in this bad boy! I'm contemplating trying to make friends by talking about the Kanye-Swift ordeal (it hasn't made it overseas yet, this is my chance), but once you bring Obama into it (he's right by the way) it's all downhill and we have to talk about politics (luckily the one time I was frank and told them I didn't care about politics they seemed to find that normal, is that because I'm a teenager or American?)!
Some final random thoughts. I did the wash yesterday and my underarmour shorts got tore up like no other! I request back up athletic shorts from across the pond along with white t shirts and my moccasins and anything else I need that I can't think of. Dutch is a very difficult language. I have come to terms with that. I love everyone that is all "hoe gaat het" and "la dee la" with their Dutch and I'm like ok I know that but you don't see me prancing around speaking this ugly language, do you (yes, it's true, some days I grow very bitter with the Dutch language. I'm known to have said a couple times "It makes me pissed off when I wake up and people are speaking Dutch around me." oops)? I suppose I am growing very impatient though for friends and language and should probably stick it out a little longer before the Bitch'n'Moan Express takes me to town.
This was cathartic. Thank you.